Monday, November 22, 2010
irony of insecurity
Insecure people base their self worth on what they percieve their partner to be thinking of them in each moment. This criteria for self worth is as solid as the thoughts that pass through our mind. It is subject to change in any moment and is a phenomenally insecure foundation for self esteem and emotional state to stand on.The insecure persons's feeling that they could topple at any moment is because their self image can be pushed over by something as small as a comment, changing a plan or the way you interact with someone else. Or even by their own assumption of what someone else is thinking. People who are insecure in relationships encourage this notion of giving"everything", which us usually under the guise of being "completely honest". People with relationship insecurities are not completely honest with themselves, so they cannot infact participate in the being completely honest. They cannot see their fears and insecurities as they are quickly projected onto a partner. This process usually resulst in manipulation and control with judgements and criticisms, that are usually pre-estabilsihed in questions and implied in conversation openers. People with relationship insecurities will look for information to establish that they have been mistreated, and this conspires to emotional abuse in a relationship where one party (the insecure party)assumes a strong yet covert victim role, and the other party is manipulated into believing they are a source of continuous pain and disappoinment. Resulting in unhealthy somatic symptoms which are cyclical, thereby self-feeding the victim mentality. The insecure person requires impeccability of words, actions, thoughts and perception of their partner, which is of course impossible. The insecure partner infact does not a have a pre-determined standard for perfection, as if this was to exist, then the potential for the partner to live up toexpectations exists, and if this was to occur the insecure partner would have to abandon the victim mentatlity. Put simply, the insecure person exhibits such pathology that the partner can rarely be right and their actions can always be interpreted as hurtful, deliberately decietful and against the best interests of the insecure party. Herein lies the irony.