I adapt, therefore I am
Monday, November 22, 2010
When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bonds; your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be.
What attracts you in Auroville.....?
The concept of human unity is congruent with my core values and world view. My experiences of meditation and connection with the universe are in line with the principles of Integral Yoga as described by Sri Aurobindo, and I would like to continue my learning and realization in this area. I believe living and contributing to Auroville will enhance this for me.
My experience of working with abused and traumatized children, and the perpetrators of such harm, has led me to dissect and examine my belief sets, ideals and expectations of humanity, and also highlighted common preceding factors of dualism, isolation and ego. This ongoing learning encourages my affiliation with the notion that humans are not final, that evolution will continue and that these are some of the factors which hinder this progress. I want to explore this, realize my knowledge and contribute to human unity. I wholeheartedly embrace the vision of Auroville, and want to contribute to this important, progressive social movement.
What are you motivation to apply of an intership in Auroville
My attraction to Auroville - the actualization of, what to me were idealized concepts, plays a significant role in my motivation to apply. I am developing increasing interest in these unified, peaceful, progressive elements of life, and believe I have skills and energy which could contribute positively to Auroville. I am in a financial, emotional and professional position to undertake an internship in Auroville. My studies and work experience, as well as my general life practices are applicable to contributing to Auroville, as is my drive, intention and energy. Further, the learning and contributing opportunities available from an internship in Auroville are unique, and strongly congruent with my interests and values.
What personal qualities you would bring to your work
I possess an exceptional work ethic. I am interested, dedicated, innovative and inspired in my work. I am open to learning from all people and experiences, and building shared knowledge. I am energetic and devoted to the project at hand and the bigger picture we are contributing to, and am effective in balancing these commitments.
I genuinely love work. I enjoy the overall conceptualization of projects as well as the micro details and everything in between. I have enjoyed every role I have ever undertaken and gained significant learning and skills from each one. This passion and genuine commitment is a quality which reflects positively in every aspect of my work.
In order to improve our service, we need your feedback.
Would you be willing to give us periodically feedback, during your stay in Auroville, and send us a final report at the end?
Most definitely!! As mentioned I enjoy writing and would be very happy to provide reports, thoughts, reflections, evaluations etc of any description on any basis of frequency. I have a collection of emails from my initial visit to Auroville, which document my experiences and thoughts. I would be happy to share these as well to give you an idea of my writing style. I am able to write in any format, I write reports and assessments for my current job and have always had written communication as a central component of my professional and personal life.
My experience of working with abused and traumatized children, and the perpetrators of such harm, has led me to dissect and examine my belief sets, ideals and expectations of humanity, and also highlighted common preceding factors of dualism, isolation and ego. This ongoing learning encourages my affiliation with the notion that humans are not final, that evolution will continue and that these are some of the factors which hinder this progress. I want to explore this, realize my knowledge and contribute to human unity. I wholeheartedly embrace the vision of Auroville, and want to contribute to this important, progressive social movement.
What are you motivation to apply of an intership in Auroville
My attraction to Auroville - the actualization of, what to me were idealized concepts, plays a significant role in my motivation to apply. I am developing increasing interest in these unified, peaceful, progressive elements of life, and believe I have skills and energy which could contribute positively to Auroville. I am in a financial, emotional and professional position to undertake an internship in Auroville. My studies and work experience, as well as my general life practices are applicable to contributing to Auroville, as is my drive, intention and energy. Further, the learning and contributing opportunities available from an internship in Auroville are unique, and strongly congruent with my interests and values.
What personal qualities you would bring to your work
I possess an exceptional work ethic. I am interested, dedicated, innovative and inspired in my work. I am open to learning from all people and experiences, and building shared knowledge. I am energetic and devoted to the project at hand and the bigger picture we are contributing to, and am effective in balancing these commitments.
I genuinely love work. I enjoy the overall conceptualization of projects as well as the micro details and everything in between. I have enjoyed every role I have ever undertaken and gained significant learning and skills from each one. This passion and genuine commitment is a quality which reflects positively in every aspect of my work.
In order to improve our service, we need your feedback.
Would you be willing to give us periodically feedback, during your stay in Auroville, and send us a final report at the end?
Most definitely!! As mentioned I enjoy writing and would be very happy to provide reports, thoughts, reflections, evaluations etc of any description on any basis of frequency. I have a collection of emails from my initial visit to Auroville, which document my experiences and thoughts. I would be happy to share these as well to give you an idea of my writing style. I am able to write in any format, I write reports and assessments for my current job and have always had written communication as a central component of my professional and personal life.
NLP Q&A
NLP bit and pieces
(note: NLP and i-NLP are interchangeable in this document. The i stands for integrated)
1. List seven presuppositions of NLP.
Presuppositions put a framework around i-NLP; they handle the issue of manipulation in advance and they constitute a theory of intervention. Presuppositions are the first step to ascertain the map which the person is using.
1) The meaning of your communication is the response you get
2) The map is not the territory (there is no map which can be the territory – all maps have a bias)
3) Requisite variety (the element in a system with the most flexibility will be the controlling element)
4) Communication is redundant (you cannot not communicate; you are always communicating, in all three major representational systems)
5) People work perfectly (separate the behaviour from the person, the message from the messenger; no one is broken/wrong- find out how they operate now so you can change that into something more useful/resourceful/desirable)
6) Energy flows where attention goes (from Huna)
7) People already have all the resources they need (i-NLP can help them to find what they need and access these resources at appropriate times)
2. Explain the Law of Requisite Variety
“The element in a system with the most flexibility will be the controlling element”.
In an i-NLP sense this refers to behavioural and neural flexibility. The more flexible you can be in; your view of a situation, the outcomes and ways to manage the situation, the more choices you will have in managing the situation. If something does not work, try something else (“try anything else”). The more times you can do this, will increase the likelihood of a better outcome. Rigidity and narrowness of scope in views, ideas, behaviours and perceived choices limits outcomes, and restricts options for success.
In a conceptual sense this theory can be likened to Darwin’s theory of evolutionary survival, in which the species with the most adaptability will survive.
3. What is Sensory Acuity, and why is it important?
Sensory acuity refers to one’s observational skills. It is the ability to make increasingly refined sensory distinctions in order to identify slight difference in what is observed, heard and felt. When used properly sensory acuity skills can help to determine progress in achieving outcomes.
Sensory Acuity is important because it pulls you out of a trance and brings you into uptime, thereby helping to determine where you are in relation to where you are going. Practising sensory acuity encourages you to regain curiosity, bring you into the now and calibrate for changes in people to indicate inner changes. During face to face communication, well developed sensory acuity will allow you to attend to changes or shifts in the other person’s skin colour, muscle movements, breathing, voice patterns and tone, posture and language which is used to create an awareness of the person’s internal state and shifts.
4. Which of the following are sensory based (S) and which are hallucinations (H)?
Her lips puffed (S)
He looked cold (H)
She was relieved (H)
Her pupils dilated (S)
He showed remorse (H)
The muscles on her face tightened (S)
The volume of his voice was lowered (S)
5. Describe “Rapport”
Rapport is the core of all relationships; it is bond, understanding, sympathy, resonance, affinity, harmony, empathy, links and ties to another person. It is a process of responsiveness; when people are like each other, they like each other; therefore, rapport is about having behaviours in common or being in-sync with someone.
Rapport can be thought of as the engagement and holding of the unconscious willing attention. It is the conscious or unconscious synchronisation of behaviour.
In an i-NLP sense, rapport earns you the right to ask, it is a principle of success and it creates a condition whereby a client accepts suggestions uncritically.
One of the intentions behind rapport is to meet other people at their map or model of the world and respect their individual differences, rather than trying to impose your own model of the world on them. This does not preclude helping people to access more useful resources in themselves. You can do this by first creating rapport with the person which allows you to gently lead them to a more resourceful state.
6. How do you get Rapport?
Rapport can be established by matching, mirroring and cross over mirroring of the three following elements of communication; physiology (55%), voice (38%) and words (7%). Matching, mirroring and cross over mirroring are achieved by being cognisant of the components of each element, observing the other person in terms of the three communication elements and their components and matching and mirroring accordingly.
Physiology is made up of posture, gesture, facial expression, blinking and breathing.
Voice is comprised of tone, tempo, timbre and volume.
Words encompass predicates (visual, auditory, kinaesthetic and auditory dialogue), key words, content chunks and common experiences and associations.
Matching other people’s communication allows for flexibility in communications and tends to result in heightened rapport with others. Determining and matching peoples lead modes (i.e. visual, kinaesthetic or auditory) encourages ease of communication, communication flow, mutual understanding and allows you to relate to the other person.
In order to determine people’s lead roles pay attention to the predicates they use as they talk, this will allow identification their primary or lead representational mode. Paying attention to nonverbal behaviours is also useful in determining primary processing modes, i.e. where the person breathes (high or low), their posture and the tone of their voice.
Matching and mirroring these elements in communication with someone will establish rapport because they increase understanding and responsiveness.
7. List five things you can match to get into rapport.
1) Posture
2) Representational system via predicates
3) Tone
4) Breathing
5) Volume
8. When do you use cross over mirroring and how?
“Cross over mirroring is matching a part of a person’s physiology with a different part of your physiology or a different item or movement; i.e they tap their foot under the table, and you match by tapping your pen on the desk” or if the person is blinking, tapping your pen in time with their blinking. Cross over mirroring is taking any repetitive behaviour of another person and matching the behaviour through another communication channel.
Cross over mirroring is used to gain rapport, as it builds rapport with the person’s unconscious mind, it is used when a subtle, less noticeable approach to rapport building is required, as it is less overt than mirroring or matching the other person’s behaviours directly. Effective cross-over mirroring can allow for pacing and leading to occur in interactions.
9. Draw the eye patterns of a normally organised right handed person.
When someone’s eyes move in a particular direction, you are able to ascertain if their thinking is visual, auditory or kinaesthetic. The picture below depicts the eye movements for a normally organised right handed person. Some left handed people can have the eye movements reversed. This picture shows movements from the observer’s point of view.
VC = Visual ConstructedVR = Visual RememberedAC = Auditory ConstructedAR = Auditory RememberedK = Kinaesthetic (Feelings)Ad = Auditory Digital (Self-talk)
10. Explain what is meant by “Primary Representational System” and how do you detect it?
The representational system is the five senses (the sensory modalities); visual, auditory, kinaesthetic, olfactory, gustatory (as well as auditory digital -self talk).
In NLP for practical purposes mental processing can be treated as if performed by these senses. It is called the representational because it is the way the human brain codes and represents communication, information and ideas inside to make sense of the world.
Humans thinks by picturing things, talking to themselves and having feelings (the other two senses (gustatory and olfactory) often seem less significant and closely associated, and this is why Visual, Auditory and Kinaesthetic are the primary representation systems).
In Freudian terms primary representational systems are known as “first access” or “primary experience”.
NLP asserts that for the majority of people in the majority of situations, three of the five sensory systems tend to dominate mental processing. The primary representational system is the favoured representation system an individual uses in a particular situation or context. When a person tends to use on internal sense habitually, this is understood to be their primary representational system. This was originally thought of as a persevering system; however it has come to be understood as fleeting and contextually specific.
Given that the primary representational systems are visual, kinaesthetic and auditory (V,A,K); the primary representational system is the mode which tends to dominate in conscious awareness. Thus, the system which is habitually favoured and most often used to think, speak and organise experiences is the primary representational system, and it is identifiable via predicates and physiology.
11. Explain what is meant by “Lead Representational System” and how do you detect it?
Just as we have a preferred / primary representational system for our conscious thinking, we also have a preferred means of bringing information into our conscious thought. This is called the ‘lead system’ in NLP, the internal sense that we use as a handle to reach back to a memory. It is how the information reaches the conscious mind. It is sometimes called the ‘input system’, as it supplies the material to think about consciously.Most people have a ‘lead system’ and it need not be the same as the preferred/primary system. For example, you may be a kinaesthetic person who thinks about an experience in terms of feelings. Similar to the primary representational system, this is confirmed by the words you use and your body language (predicates and physiology). In recalling a memory, someone may initially use a ‘visual’ image, which is later replaced by the comfortable kinaesthetic sensing they prefer. In this case the ‘visual’ system was used as the ‘lead system’. Thus, people have a preferred representational systems, as well as a lead system, which may or may not vary.
In essence, the Lead Representational System is the first system to take in information from outside, and is the first element in any strategy. Similar to the primary representational system it was once considered to be relatively stable, but has been found to be subject to change. The Lead system can be outside of conscious awareness, and can be detected by language predicates and physiology. The lead representational system is the system which a person habitually uses to process information or experiences; usually the one in which the person is able to make the most detailed distinctions.
To summarise representational systems;
When a person systematically uses one sense over the others, we call it primary representational system. The representational system that you prefer to use to find information to input into consciousness is called Lead representational System. And the system with which a person checks if the information you have recalled from your memory is correct is called Reference System.
12. Identify whether the following predicates are Visual (v), Auditory Tonal (At), Kinaesthetic (k), Olfactory (o), Gustatory (g), or auditory digital (Ad).
Stink (o)
Tension (k)
Push (k)
Watch (v)
Music (a)
Throw (k)
Bitter (g)
Tough (k)
See (v)
Yummy (g)
Look (v)
Sense (k)
Thoughtful (k)
Tell (a)
Warm (k)
Putrid (o)
Shocking (o)
Silent (a)
Hard (k)
Motivate (ad)
Brilliant (k)
Look (v)
Sense (k)
Thoughtful (ad)
Tell (a)
Warm (k)
Putrid (o)
Shocking (k)
Hear (a)
Remember (k)
Feel (k)
Taste (o)
Viewpoint (v)
Survey (ad)
13. Translate the following sentences into a different representational system.
Things look good. Things sound good.
Things sound good. Things feel good.
Everyday feels great! Everyday looks great.
You are really fired up! You are seeing red!
That sounds like a great idea. That looks like a great idea.
You really resonate well with me! I hear what you are saying.
People don’t see me as I see myself. I don’t feel like people understand me.
Your words leave me without feeling. Your words don’t resonate well with me.
Everyday above ground is a great day! Everyday looks beautiful.
It is so quiet that you can hear a pin drop. It feels so still.
Your words leave a sour taste in my mouth. Your words don’t sit right with me.
Others view me differently than I view myself. Other people hear me differently than I hear myself.
14. What is “overlapping representational systems” and when would you use the pattern?
Overlapping representational systems are used to gain access to and help to develop flexibility in a least preferred representational system. They are designed to move someone from the most preferred to least preferred representational system, using predicates to move them in any combination of V,A,K,O/G or Ad.
Overlapping is used to lead a person from a representational system they are using into another representational system. When a person has trouble accessing a representational system, they are limited in the way they recall memories, assign meaning and interact with the world. The problem can result from trauma, but can also be a result of an underdeveloped representational system. This technique will help them in developing access to that system.
15. What is meant by a “Physiology of excellence” and why is it important?
Through exploring the correlation between body posture and state, NLP has developed a number of techniques for changing emotional states through physical movement. Physiology, anchoring and the rehearsal techniques all utilize this premise.
Physiology has a direct effect on psychological and emotional states (developments such as the Felderkrais method and the Alexander Technique allow us to learn additional movement patterns, which enable greater flexibility of thinking and behaviour).
The general posture and breathing of a person is highly correlated with psychological state and their cognitive processes. A resourceful state will demonstrate a very different physiology to a non-resourceful state (i.e. motivation compared with depression). Conscious access to the posture and movement patterns that accompany resourceful states can allow us to recreate and re-access those states when required.
Physiology of excellence in NLP refers to modelling excellence in others and using in yourself and other people. It is based on the theory “any thing you can do, I can model and also do”. The principle that physiology (an external behaviour) impacts on our internal state allows us to rely on physiology to create states of excellence. By creating a positive physiology (i.e. a positive posture, breathing, head position, gestures etc) we are able to create a feeling of power, of success. (i.e. resourceful states).
Physiology of excellence is important in NLP, as the basis of NLP is the process of modelling, which has three elements; belief & values systems, physiology and strategies
NLP creates an attitude and methodology that leaves behind a trail of techniques, therefore, to be able to discover, elicit the patterns of, and utilize excellent behaviour in ourselves and others is an important outcome in NLP. Through the process of modelling, we are able to find and model excellent behaviour and install it in ourselves or someone else. In successful people it is often observed that they are generally in control of their state regardless of the external circumstances, and that they have an effective way of staying in a positive and up state. Recognising this, and subsequently, modelling their physiology allows us to create positive states also. Thus, physiology of excellence allows us to model more successful and resourceful behaviours in order to achieve outcomes.
16. List six modalities of calibration.
1) Voice tone
2) Skin colour
3) Micro muscle movements
4) Gesture
5) Pupil dilation
6) Breathing rate
17. Explain voice tone, tempo and timbre?
Voice tone, tempo and timbre are all components of the “Voice” component of rapport and communication. Tone refers to the pitch, tempo refers to the speed and timbre refers to the quality of the sound.
18. List seven of the keys to achievable outcomes (the well-formed conditions)?
1) Stated in the positive
2) Self initiated and maintained
3) Sensory based
4) Well contextualised as to who, where and when
5) Has clear evidence procedure
6) Has access to resources
7) Is ecologically sound
19. What is the “Meta Model”?
The Meta Model was developed by John Grinder and Richard Bandler to enable users to identify and clarify classes of natural language patterns to improve the flow of accurate information between people. The Meta Model uses language to draw out and determine someone’s map of the world which is below the surface of thinking. The Meta Model takes distortions and helps to make the connections that were lost in the distortion filter, to return to sensory based experience. The Meta Model enables users to verify, clarify and specify imprecise verbal and written communication and provides questions which elicit information which was previously generalised, distorted and deleted.
The Meta Model is a set of language patterns that focus attention on how people delete, distort, generalize, limit, or specify their realities. It provides a series of questions useful for making communication more specific, recovering lost or unspecified information, and loosening rigid patterns of thinking. The Meta Model is used to uncover the "deep structure" underneath the "surface structure" of someone. For example, if someone says "This is better", he shows his surface structure. To uncover his deep structure, you'll have to ask him questions like:"Better than what?" You ask specific questions, listen to their language pattern, and watch how they respond to things or words.
The Meta Model identifies the following patterns of distortions, deletions and generalisations in someone’s language, responds to them and causes the person to recover and specify their experience;
Mind reading
Lost performatives
Cause – effect
Complex equivalence
Presuppositions
Universal quantifiers
Modal operators (necessity and possibility)
Nominalisations
Unspecified verbs
Simple deletions
Lack of referential index
Comparative deletions
20. Whose work inspired the Meta Model?
Virginia Satir
Milton Erikson
Fritz Perls
21. What are the three processes of internalising designed to help us maintain our sanity on which the Meta model is based?
Filtering the information and stimulus, which is received each moment, occurs to prevent us from being overwhelmed. Deleting information, distorting information and generalising information are three process of internalising designed for this purpose.
22. First, identify the Meta Model violation in the following sentences and then, write an appropriate Meta Model challenge.
I’m angry. Simple Deletion. What specifically are you angry about?
Sue loves me. Unspecified Verb. How do you know that Sue loves you?
Susan hurt me. Unspecified Verb. How specifically were you hurt by Susan?
It’s wrong to cheat. Lost performative. According to whom?
I regret my decision. Simple Deletion. What about your decision is causing you to feel regret?
He makes me happy. Cause and effect. What does he do to make you happy?
I should study harder. Comparative deletion. Study harder than whom?
Nobody ever pays any attention to me. Universal Quantifier. Nobody? Ever?
23. What is personal power and how does one get it?
Personal power is being able to identify what do you do well and what you don’t do well, in order to determine where to focus energy and attention, is personal power as it allows you to know what to learn next. Personal power is being able to identify limiting beliefs and overcome them.
23. What is “state” and why is it important?
State refers to an overall physiological and psychological condition of a person. It encompasses beliefs, capabilities, values and behaviour within a particular context at a particular time. State is important in NLP as recognition of differences between states and outcomes is crucial in setting achievable goals or outcomes.
The table below demonstrates the different characteristics between states and goals.
State or Value
Goal or Outcome
Stated ambiguously
Stated specifically
Write affirmations
Write goals/outcomes
You Can Have It Now
Time Is Involved
No steps — Just associate
Steps needed to get there
Infinite or not measurable
Measurable
Stated for self and/or others
Stated for self only
24. What is a “pattern interrupt” and when would you use it?
A pattern interrupt is a series of interruptions that break a habit or state, to the point that the interruption becomes part of the pattern. In terms of strategies, to make a behaviour work it needs 1,2,3,4 to be firing in the correct order for it to effectively work. Consider interrupting the sequence. When you continuously interrupt the behaviour or state as it's trying to work itself, the pattern is unable to fire off and consequently the person experiences the intervention you are using as part of the process, and as a result they are unable to successfully undertake old pattern anymore.
25. Describe the following frames and tell when you use them;
A Frame is the way we look at something. We put different things into different frames to look at it from a different point of view.
Evidence Frame: part of the outcome frame used to measure progress
This frame is a component of the outcome frame and is used to determine evidence. The evidence frame is used as a gauge to assess progress towards outcomes, and to recognise when an outcome has been achieved. Using the evidence frame allows you to determine if corrective action should be taken or if a new or modified outcome should be set. The evidence frame uses questions such as “how will you know when you have achieved your outcome? What will you see, hear, feel or experience?”
Backtrack Frame: To review or summarize, using another's key words and tonalities.
Backtrack is to go back and review, summarise or contemplate what has been covered. The backtrack frame is used when a persons mind is wandering. Backtracking is communicating back the ‘essence’ of what someone has said. Summarising allows you to ensure that what was said is what was meant and ensure both parties in communication have understood what was meant. Backtracking is undertaken using the original speaker's vocal tones, body language and even the words and phrases they used. Through repetition of someone’s words, gestures, etc, you can strengthen rapport by repeating their original words and behavior rather than by paraphrasing. In a group setting or presentation, backtracking can strengthen people’s memories of key points.Backtracking is an effective way to maintain and increase rapport, as it allows the person to know that you were listening and you have not judged what they have said, whilst also allowing you to ensure your own understanding and seek clarification.
We all filter information differently and may come to significantly different conclusions. Backtracking is a way to ensure everyone has the same understanding of what was discussed and decided and helps to maintain a course towards the desired outcome.
Relevancy Frame: Asking how a specific statement or behaviour is helping to achieve an agreed outcome.
Relevancy frame can be summed up as a statement of Relevance. A relevancy frame is used when person is on a tangent or another train of thought that is irrelevant to the desired outcome. The relevancy frame brings the person back to the topic at hand, rather than allowing the communication to become sidetracked.
Contrast Frame: comparison between thoughts.
A contrast is a comparison between two separate thoughts. It is used to shift perspective by making a comparison in which the opposite comparison has not been recognised.
Ecology Frame: Asking what effects your thoughts and actions have on larger systems (i.e. on yourself, your family, your financial situation...).
Ecology is the study of the consequences or results or impact of any change that occurs on the wider system. Ecology frames are used when making changes in order to examine the consequences for self, family, society and planet. Someone who pursues outcomes with no regard for the impact on other systems (e.g. family, work, community) has not used the ecology frame. The ecology frame allows you to determine any negative effects of the outcome and change or mitigate to avoid or manage these.
"As If" Frame: Thinking as if something had occurred. "What would it be like if...".
The As-If Frame refers to "acting as if" something were true and is already occurring, such as pretending to be competent at something that you are not. The As If frame makes it easier for a person to internally explore the possibilities and ideas which would normally be unavailable due to limitations in beliefs. The As If frame temporarily draws aside limiting beliefs to allow the person to explore alternative possibilities, in a manner which is not threatening or challenging to their existing conceptual world-view. Thereby allowing for more rapid work and information gathering and avoiding internal resistance. This frame can encourage people to begin to imagine moving beyond limiting beliefs.
26. What is an Anchor?
Robert Dilts “Anchor: Stimuli that will consistently produce the same internal data in an individual”.
Bandler & Grinder: “Anchoring refers to the tendency for any one element of an experience to bring back the entire experience.”
Sid Jacobson: ... “it [is] an NLP way of talking about classical (Pavlov's) conditioning, but it made a lot more sense.”
An anchor essentially is when an external stimulus is paired with an internal state. In a psychological sense anchoring is stimulus response conditioning, anchoring is a form of operant conditioning. Any time a person is in an associated, intense state, if at the peak of that experience, a specific stimulus is applied, then the two will be linked neurologically, and in NLP this is called and Anchor.
Anchoring is when a memory recall, state change or other responses become associated with a stimulus, in a manner that perception of the stimulus (the anchor) leads by reflex to the anchored response occurring. An anchor is applying a gesture, touch or sound just prior to a state peaking, either for yourself or on another person, so that the state can be re-activated by using that gesture, touch or sound. Anchoring can assist you in gaining access to past states and linking the past state to the present and the future.
Anchoring is used in NLP to facilitate state management. In this sense an anchor is set up to be triggered by a consciously chosen stimulus, deliberately linked by practice to a known useful state, to provide reflexive access to that state at will.
27. What are the five keys to anchoring?
The Intensity of the Experience
The Purity of the State
The Timing of the Anchor
The Uniqueness of the Anchor
The Accuracy of Duplication of Anchor
28. Describe how to anchor someone?
There are Four Steps to Anchoring – RACE (recall, anchor, change and evoke):
Have the person Recall a past vivid experience.
Anchor (Provide) a specific stimulus just prior to the peak
Change the person's state (break state)
Evoke the State — Set off the anchor to test.
29. Describe the process of collapse anchors and tell when it is useful to do so.
Collapsing anchors is used to get rid of negative or non-resourceful states and replace them with positive resourceful states. Collapsing anchors allows you to encounter a situation that used to cause a negative reaction and avoid a negative reaction as well as responding very positively towards it.
The following describes the process of collapsing anchors.
Get into rapport with the client.
Tell the client what you are about to do: "In just a moment I am going to do a process called 'Collapse Anchors' (explain), and that will necessitate that I touch you. Is that okay?"
Decide on which Resource (positive) States are desired/required, and decide on the Negative State to be collapsed. Make it clear which states specifically are involved.
As you elicit the Positive States get into each one before you elicit it in the client.
Make sure that the client is in a fully associated congruent, intense, state for each of the states you anchor
Anchor all the positive states in the same place, i.e. a knuckle or other easily identifiable comfortable place.
Anchor the negative state once.
Fire anchors at the same time until they peak, and the integration is complete. (Monitor the client for signs of asymmetry until the integration is complete.)
Release the negative anchor
Hold the positive anchor for 5 seconds and then release
Test: "Now how do feel about that old state?"
Future Pace: "Can you imagine a time in the future when you might be in a similar situation, and what happens?"
Collapsing Anchors is useful for eliminating a negative state.
30. What is chaining anchors and when would you use the technique?
Chaining is a technique that is employed when the desired/resource state is significantly different from the present state and the present state is a stuck state.
By establishing a few anchors, you are able to fire them off one after the other, changing the state as each emotion is at its peak. Thereby moving through a sequence of states. A useful chaining anchor can make you (by firing it off a few times) go through the different states automatically, i.e. the first state will induce a process that automatically leads to the last state.
Get in rapport.
Tell the client what you are about to do: "In just a moment I am going to do a process called 'Chaining Anchors' (explain), and that will necessitate that I touch you. Is that O.K.?"
Identify the undesirable present state (e.g.: Procrastination), and decide on the positive/resource end state (e.g.: Motivation).
Design the chain: Decide on what intermediate states are needed to lead to the end state. (eg: "You're procrastinating, what gets you off that state?")
Get into each state as you elicit and anchor each state separately, beginning with the present state through the end state. (You may have to stack all states to get a high intensity.) Make sure that the subject is out of previous state prior to anchoring the next one. (Break State between states, especially between the last one and the first one.)
Test each state. Make sure that the client goes into each one.
Chain each state together firing #1 and when #1 is at its peak add #2, and then release #1. When #2 comes to the peak, add #3, then release #2. Add #4, etc. in the same way.
Test: Fire present state anchor. Client should end up in final state.
Ask the client, "Now how do you feel about __________." eg: How do you feel about procrastination.
Future Pace: "Can you think of a time in the future which if it had happened in the past you would have _______________ (eg: Procrastinated) and tell me what happens instead?"
31. Describe how you would discover how your client stores time. Then, elicit your own time line and draw a picture of it here.
An important NLP discovery is that people store time spatially. Our memories of our life is stored in one straight line, the timeline. This line connects the past, the present and the future. It starts with birth and ends with death. Our past experiences do determine who we are and how we act. By changing our timeline we can change ourselves.
Asking clients to draw their time line enables us to discover how they store time;
· People who visualize their past behind them, the present in front of them and the future somewhere ahead of the present may have a difficult time with planning. They can only focus on the present moment.
· Some people imagine their past directly in front of them, with the present and future veering off to one side. They literally can't focus too well on the present or future because the past is intruding too much on their attention.
· Other people imagine time as a straight line in front of them. While they may be excellent at planning and being objective, they may be less capable of enjoying the present moment.
In keeping with the concept of updating our internal maps of the world to more useful ones, NLP utilizes a number of techniques to change how past events are stored in the brain. The purpose is to modify the affects of stored memory on present behaviour, as well as nullify conflicts arising from unresolved issues from the past.
In NLP the Journey line is positioned in a specific place to do work and then return it, if desired, to the client’s original position. The standard position for Practitioners to work from is Future on Right, Past on the Left and the path is positioned in a straight line in front of the person (horizontally).
My timeline
Birth schooling university travel work NLP studies future......
32. What is an intervention for the removal of guilt?
A swish pattern; switching one picture rapidly for another picture, allows us to lead our brain in a new direction thereby allowing us to replace problem states or behaviours with more useful states or behaviours. This pattern could be used as an intervention for the removal of guilt, with guilt being an non-resourceful state. The swish pattern is a form of pattern interrupt designed to assist in changing direction , to interrupt the pattern we have been running (problem state or behaviour) and replace it with a more useful pattern (desired state or behaviour). By engaging in the problem state (i.e. guilt) we are running a pattern that is coded and stored in our neurology.
The first part of a swish pattern is to create an associated image of the non-resourceful state. Given that we have previously experienced this state (guilt) or behaviour we will an internal representation of it which will encompass kinaesthetic or feelings, and considering that this is something we wish to change we will very likely have negative feelings about it.
By associating fully into the picture and seeing it through our own eyes we triggers the kinaesthetic; putting us in touch with the negative feelings (guilt) that we wish to move away from. Next in the swish pattern we create a second picture as dissociated; essentially showing ourselves how things could look and how we could look having made this change now. By dissociating the second picture we help to project it internally not only as a worthwhile goal but also as something achievable in reality.
The third part of the pattern is the “swish”. When we visualise images, the strength of the feelings associated to the images is directly affected by submodality distinctions such as the size of the image, location and the brightness. Big, bright images up close in our field of vision will most likely trigger stronger feelings than small, dark images which are off in the distance. “Swishing” from the non-resourceful state (guilt) to the resourceful state allows for an effective intervention. The swish pattern also includes anchoring. The picture of the undesired state / behaviour becomes the stimulus which automatically triggers the response - the picture of the desired state / behaviour. Thereby reinforcing the instruction to our unconscious mind to leave the problem state / behaviour (guilt) behind and move toward the desired state / behaviour.
There are many versions of the Swish pattern in NLP. Here is a description of one, which incorporates V-A-K: Visual, Kinaesthetic, and Auditory channels.
· Identify the mood/feeling (i.e. guilt) and put in on the back of your right hand. Feel and see a memory of that toxic state. As you bring the hand closer it intensifies the negative feelings.
· Shake that off and break state. It is critical to clear your head before #3.
· What state do you want to be in? What is opposite of the toxic (i.e. guilt) state? Recall a time when you were in that ideal state (i.e. not guilty, maybe proud?) imagine it intensely; see, hear, and feel what that is like, breath the way you did, now. When you have it amplified to a 10/10, put it on the back of your left hand. This is your positive anchor. As you bring the hand close you feel better.
· Shake it off and break state.
· Put your right hand out in front of you and as you bring it in the negative feeling will intensify (i.e. guilt). Allow yourself to experience it, as it is only a feeling. Get your left hand into position in front of you with arm fully extended; just left of centre. So now you have the right hand “in your face” close and the left hand at full extension. As you say the word “swish,” rapidly push your right arm out to full extension and bring the left/positive hand in real close. With the left hand close, recall the positive state intensely. The arm movement is to be done rapidly and with intense feelings.
· Shake it off and break state.
· Test: look at your right hand. Is there still some negative feeling (guilt) left? If it is gone, great. If not, repeat exercise as many times as you need until the looking at the right hand is completely emotionally neutral.
33. What is an intervention for a limiting decision?
The As-If Frame could be used to help a client move past a limiting decision. With the as-if frame the client is able to act as if something were true and is already occurring, such as pretending to not have that limiting belief. The As If frame makes it easier for a person to internally explore the possibilities and ideas which would normally be unavailable due to limitations in beliefs.
The triple description method could also be used for a limiting decision, as it allows us to take on multiple perspectives on a decision, providing a foundation for wisdom. The process involves looking at the decision from a fully associated perspective, from another person’s perspective and from an observers perspective (dissociated).
Anchor Integration is another approach which could be used for a limiting decision, as it allows for additional choice to be made available in a specific context. This can be used alone, or in congruence with reframing, and other processes.
34. What is an intervention for a negative emotion?
Collapse Anchoring is an NLP intervention for negative emotion, allowing a negative emotion to be replaced with a positive or more resourceful emotion.
35. Describe how to do a “change personal history” and tell when to use this technique?
If you have memories that are unpleasant and that still have a negative impact, NLP can help to transform them into positive memories. You can do this by recalling the memory and add some resources. To do this, go back to the memory you want to change. If there are more than one memory of this kind, try to detect the first memory and go back to it. Now, dissociate from it. Identify the resources that you would have needed in that situation to change it to a positive memory. Anchor these resources and see the memory as if you already had the resources you needed to make it a positive memory (while still being dissociated from it). Add the resources until the memory is positive. Travel back into the present and change all the memories that happened as a result from the first memory. And then, future pace so that it will never happen again.
Changing personal history is an NLP intervention that can be done with oneself or with another person. This is a powerful exercise wherein a person revisits an non-resourceful state, and then through anchoring a non-resourceful behaviour/state/ feeling is replaced with a good decision or experience and anchored. Then future pacing determines whether this change in the remembered experience is okay.
Change personal History is for the purpose of changing a number of memories in the past and adding resources.
How?
1. The client identifies a situation or context where they are less resourceful, have a recurring unpleasant feeling or would like something resolved.
2. Assist the client in accessing the state, anchor it, and test the anchor.
3. Hold the anchor and assist the client in using feelings to go back in time. Continue to hold the anchor until the client recovers the earliest possible time.
4. Have the client dissociate from the experience and watch it as an adult, seeing the younger self. With all their adult resources available.
5. While holding the anchor, have the client relive the earliest memory in a new and resourceful way, then have the client grow up through the other times they had remembered.
6. Future pace. Hold the anchor while the client thinks through how they will feel and behave in future similar contexts.
This pattern is useful for altering the way we or a client respond to a given stimulus. If we are responding in a habitual, non-resourceful, unrewarding manner, this pattern can help us access states of greater resources, allowing us to break unhealthy cycles and patterns in our relationships with others.
36. What is the difference between association and dissociation, and when is each useful?
All experiences are perceived to occur at some point along a continuum of associations or disassociations. Association is when the experience is felt to be part of us, or that we are part of the experience. We seem to be identified with the experience or connected somehow with it. Dissociation is when we feel we are watching, listening to or observing the event from the outside. Dissociation means literally to disconnect, create some distance, to gain perspective, to see situations and ourselves in perspective. Association means to connect closely, to participate in the here and now. In dealing with any external stimulus, like a problem, we can choose whether you want to Associate or Dissociate. We can shift from one to the other to gain a more complete understanding and insight. The properties of association and dissociation are such powerful components of any experience that they enable us to transform the experience itself.
Association is useful when we want to feel more connected or one with a present pleasant experience, a past powerful experience, or a future desirable state. Association is the state we live in, the subjective experience.
Association is useful for:
· Enjoying ourselves (Associate with happiness, success, feelings of love and joy – live for the moment.)
· Empowering ourselves with successes.
· Utilizing positive experiences.(When tackling a problem draw from past successes – think of all the thousands of problems you have already solved.)
· Accessing resourcefulness.
· Accessing past positive states.
· Writing down a problem immediately dissociates one from it.
Dissociation is useful when we want to feel free from past pain, present stress, or when there is a future goal toward which you want to be motivated.
Dissociation is useful for:
· Dealing with conflict.(It allows us to have better control of the situation and enables you to ask questions in an objective manner and tone).
· Monitoring yourself. (Stand apart from ourselves.)
· See ourselves from outside ourselves. (See ourselves through the eyes of someone else. Step outside of ourselves to manage conflict.)
· Enabling us to:
o Feel pain
o Remain in control
o Feel no emotion which obscures judgment
o Learn from negative experiences
o Build resourcefulness
o Design desired states
37. If you see yourself in the picture, are you associated or dissociated?
Dissociated.
38. What is a phobia?
A phobia is an intense and persistent fear of certain stimulus (i.e. people, animals, situation).
Symptomology of a phobia includes excessive and unreasonable desire to avoid the stimulus. The fears from the phobia create what is called a ‘phobic response’, which is an intense irrational fear, a strong emotional reaction or response to something. The phobic response is a catalyst for the fight or flight response (usually flight for people with phobia’s). A phobia is distinct from fear, as fear can be thought of as a rational, functional response, whereas a phobia is irrational and dysfunctional.
A phobia is created; not inherited, taught or caught. The mind can create a phobia at a time of stress, typically in a situation where there has been a confusion of the senses and more specifically a connection between feelings (kinesthetic) and visual or auditory stimuli.
39. Describe how to remove a phobia?
The creation of a phobia takes only a few moments of your time and yet lasts for a lifetime. Of all the abilities of the human mind the creation of phobias can be considered as one of the most amazing.
The fast phobia technique is a triple dissociation model. The purpose is to combine the use of rapport, calibration, anchoring, submodalities and verbal instruction to facilitate the procedure.
How?
1. Acknowledge the part that has been generating the intense response. Reframe its behaviour as “protection” and assure it that this procedure is designed to improve its ability to protect the individual.
2. Access and calibrate to the phobic state. Break State.
3. Establish 3 place dissociation and anchor (i.e. in a projection booth of a theatre where the client can imagine seeing themselves in the theatre and up on the screen in a neutral context).
4. Run a black and white movie of the phobic experience all the way past the end until the client can see that they have survived and they are okay.
5. Associate into the last image on the screen, and re-experience the event backwards, in colour, fully associated in about 2 seconds.
6. Test and future pace
40. What is strategy?
A strategy is a set of mental and behavioural steps which produce a specific outcome (i.i. what you do to produce a specific behaviour). Every unconscious process is a strategy. A strategy is the order and sequence of the internal and external representations that produce a specific result. When you want to do something, you could, for example, make a picture of yourself doing this thing, talk to yourself about how you will do it... A strategy can consist of internal and external visual, auditory and kinaesthetic components. For everything we do, we have a strategy.
A strategy can be described as a specific syntax of external and internal experiences which consistently produce a specific outcome. Human experience is an endless series of representations. To deal with this endless sequence it is useful to suspend the process, and contextualize it in terms of outcomes.
In NLP, strategies are what we do to get what we want. Strategies are a sequence of representational systems in our mind that lead to an outcome.
We all know by now that NLP teaches that there are 3 areas of change:
· Internal States
· External Behaviors
· Representational Systems
Strategies fall into the realm of Representational Systems and have three components:
· An Outcome
· A Sequence of representational Systems
· The submodalities of the those Representational Systems
Strategy Categories
· Decision Strategies
· Motivation Strategies
· Learning Strategies
· Reality Strategies
· Memory Strategies
The purpose behind studying mentors is to discover their strategy or recipe for achieving the results they do. When all the steps are revealed, they can be duplicated, leading to similar results. There is a strategy behind every human activity; the key is to find the most effective ones and model those.
The Components - DUCKIe
· Discover: The first step is to discover the person's strategy through the process of elicitation.
· Utilization: The next step is to utilize the strategy by feeding back information to the person in the order and sequence that it was elicited.
· Change & Design: The next step is to then be able to change the strategy —to make changes in it so that it produces the desired outcome. This component includes the design of strategies.
· Installation: We then may want to install a new strategy if needed.
Strategies involve everything we do. All our daily activity is generated & maintained by strategies. Whether or not we finish what we do is governed by a strategy.
The T.O.T.E Model (Test/Trigger, Operate, Test, Exit) is used in NLP and it provides a flowchart, which consists of “Operating” on the stimulus of the internal map and altering it, “Testing” for congruence or incongruence, and “Exiting” if desirable result is attained.
41. What are the steps in eliciting a strategy?
Formal Strategy Elicitation - Script
Establish Rapport
Can you remember a time when you were completely X'd? Can you remember a specific time? (For eliciting state strategies)orThink back on when you made that decision. (For eliciting action strategies)
And as you go back to that time now...
What was the very first thing that caused you to [be totally X'd / make that decision]?
Was it something you saw (or the way someone looked at you)?
Was it something you heard (or the tone of someone's voice)?
Was it the touch of someone or something?
After that, what was the very next thing that happened [as you were totally X'd / that caused you to make that decision]?
Did you picture something in your mind?
Did you say something to yourself?
Or did you have a certain feeling or emotion?
After that, did you know [you were totally X'd / it was time to decide]?(If not, keep looping on question #4 and #5 until you have the complete strategy)
42. List six (6) visual and six (6) kinaesthetic and six (6) auditory submodalities.
Visual;
Black or white
Near or far
Bright or dim
Framed or panoramic
Focused or Still
Movie or still
Kinaesthetic;
Location
Size
Shape
Intensity
Duration
Vibration
Movement
Auditory;
Volume
Pitch
Tone
Timbre
Pauses
Internal or external
43. What is a “reframe” and when is it useful?
Reframing is putting a different frame or perspective on thoughts about a situation or behaviour. If you change the context, meaning or content of any situation, you change the meaning. The basis of reframing is to separate intention from behaviour. The two major kinds of reframes are the Context Reframe and the Content Reframe.
44. What is the difference between a “context” and “content” reframe?
Context reframing is giving another meaning to a statement by altering the context. If the unconscious mind likes the alternative statement, it will change the way it is held in the deeper mind. Context reframing takes an undesired attribute and finds a different situation where it would be valuable. Context reframing can also be used to describe changing the representation of a problem.With a context reframe a person takes the undesired behaviour and asks, "Where could this behaviour be useful?" or "In what other context would this behaviour be of value?"A context reframe leaves the meaning of a behaviour as it is, and demonstrates how it could be a useful response in a different context.
A context reframe is useful for situations in which a person has assumed that the particular bbehaviour has no value. By asking the question when or where would this behaviour be useful or viewed as a resource you can develop a context reframe. Context reframes are created by asking “What else could this behaviour mean?" or "What is it that this person hasn't noticed (in this context) that will bring about a different meaning, and change their response?" A context reframe aligns with the NLP presupposition that all behaviours are useful in some context.
Content reframes give another meaning to a statement by recovering additional content which changes the focus or meaning. The content or meaning of a situation is determined by what we choose to focus on (i.e. viewing situations as problems or opportunities). Content reframes look for other meanings in behaviour, and align to the NLP presupposition that every behaviour has a positive intention. Asking “what else could this behaviour mean?” and “what is the positive value in this behaviour” create foundations for content reframe. Content reframes are useful when a person has limited their resourcefulness by attributing a specific meaning to a situation which may or may not be true.
45. What are the six steps in a six step reframe?
The purpose of a 6-Step Reframe is to find the benefits behind any behaviour and install new ways to achieve those benefits more elegantly (The Six-Step Reframe is no longer commonly used, having been replaced by Parts Integration). A 6 Step Reframe is undertaken to establish bridges,(channels of communication) between client's unconscious and conscious mind, to instil in the person a belief that all parts are allies.
The Process
Identify the troubling behaviour or response or behaviour that the client would like to have more choices about.
Establish communication with the part creating the unwanted behaviour or response. Ask if it would be willing to communicate consciously. This communication might be a sensation somewhere in the body, a picture, voice or sound. (What image, sound/word, sensation was client aware of when asking that question. Ask the part to increase that image, sound, sensation if answer is yes; decrease if answer is no.) When you get a signal, first thank the part for responding.
Find the positive intention. Ask the part "What do you want? What positive thing are you trying to do for me? The key here is to recognize the difference between the parts intention and the way it is going about getting it. (The Part can answer consciously or unconsciously. Client must accept that the part does have some positive intention.)
Ask the client to consider that the unconscious is doing the best it can to achieve something for them. Is there thanks or even appreciation? They may have a long history of fighting and shaming this response. Assuming that this aspect of self has a positive intention can create rapport and therefore makes it more willing to cooperate.Thank part for positive intention and make sure client begins to sincerely appreciate part.
Ask client to go to creative unconscious part, and ask that it generate at least 3 alternatives to behaviour X that would satisfy the intention (another option is to have the part responsible for behaviour X go to the creative part directly, to inform that part of its purpose, this can be useful when purpose remains unconscious).
These new choices can be on a conscious level. Request the creative part gives the client a signal when the new alternatives have been generated.Thank creative part.
Have the part evaluate these new choices. Are they acceptable? Will they be as good as or better than the previous behaviour? It needs to be willing to try them out for the next month or longer if appropriate. Request a yes/no signal.
The key here is negotiation. If the part with the unwanted behaviour is not satisfied with these alternatives, it is unlikely to try them.
If you receive a yes signal, thank part and go on. If the alternatives are not acceptable, go back to step 4 for better choices. Thank part.
Ask client to check with all their parts to make sure all are comfortable and accept the entire process and the alternatives. Check for objections with other parts with an ecology check and future pacing. Ensure you consider unintended consequences. If there are objections, put them through the same process from step 2 (asking- what is the positive intention etc?). Thank all parts.
46. What is the agreement frame and when would you use it?
The agreement frame is a linguistic tool that we can use to verbally pace the person we are communicating with and then lead them to where we want the communication to go. The agreement frame allows us disagree with a person or subject matter without upsetting them or the communication.
The agreement frame takes one of the following forms:-
· I agree........and........
· I appreciate........and........
· I respect........and........
Having flexibility is crucial in effective communication. Being able to avoid resistance from other and maintain their involvement in what is being said leaves them open to new ideas. Resistance can be eliminated by avoiding negations such as “but” and “however”. The agreement frame allows us to communicate with people of different viewpoints whilst neither creating resistance or compromising your own beliefs and values.
47. What is a conditional close and when would you use it?
A conditional close is a reframe where you consider the sale done but assume it by giving them the conditions where if they agree, the conditions will determine the outcome i.e. the sale or agreement. A conditional close frame helps you determine from the outset what issues need to be satisfied before a solution can be finalized. It's also used to create the appropriate desired outcome and to you also filter any future objections.
48. What are five NLP insights into conducting a successful meetings?
a) Determine the outcome
b) Develop the evidence procedure
c) Establish membership and agenda
d) Develop options
e) Establish rapport
49. Why is “Intent” important in negotiations?
Defining and understanding the intent of both parties in negotiations is crucial to success. From the intent you can chunk up to an agreement. Using the Positive Intent pattern in negotiations when two parties cannot agree on the details, can result in agreement by chunking up to a higher level.
How?
Find the positive intention and purpose behind the issues of each party. The positive intention will necessarily be at a higher level than the issues creating the conflict. ("You cannot solve a problem at the same level of thinking that is creating the problem.") Positive intentions will typically not be opposites or polarities. More often they are complementary, and beneficial systemically as opposed to individually.For successful negotiation ensure sure that each party recognises and acknowledges the positive intent of the other. This does not mean that either party has to accept the method with which the other is attempting to satisfy the positive intention, nor does it mean that either party has to compromise his or her position.
50. What are five of the NLP tactics for negotiations?
a) Determine intent
b) Determine your outcome
c) Develop as many options as possible to achieve that outcome
d) Identify issues to be resolved and plan how to discuss them
e) Determine your best alternative to an agreement
NLP considers the negotiation process from three points of view. The first is our own viewpoint and how we see the result of the process. We need to have clarity about what would be a successful outcome. We also need to set boundaries set on where we are prepared to move to and where we are not.The second viewpoint is that of the other party in the negotiation. We need to gain both knowledge and feeling about the position they are in and the sort of outcome they are looking for. Sometimes our projected outcome will be very compatible with the other persons. Other time they will not be close at all and we will need all your negotiating skills to effect a mutually agreeable deal.The third viewpoint is to try and look at your deal or arrangement from a completely objective standpoint. This can be very difficult where strong emotions are involved. We need to see from the outside looking in whether the hoped for end result works for both parties and ends up with achieving the desired end result.Using NLP we can create in your mind an end result that we are completely happy with and works for both parties. NLP helps us to focus on what we really want rather than what we think we want. Most times there is one main objective that we are striving to achieve and we need to be absolutely sure you know what this is. If we do not know for sure what our goal is we will not hit it and we will come away from the negotiating with the wrong outcome and bad feeling (as discussed above in why intent is so important to negotiations).
51. Is NLP useful in successful selling? And if so, how so?
Yes, NLP is successful in selling. NLP helps you develop rapport with customers, thereby eliminating resistance and making them more open to your suggestions. Spending time creating rapport can help you to spend less time handling objections later. Also, in being able to calibrate an unconscious yes or no, you can then know when to close.
NLP helps to understand the intent behind a person’s behaviour, looking deeper underneath the surface and examining beliefs, values and strategies. Being aware of these allow you insight into what drives peoples behaviour. Therefore, in a sales environment, you are at a distinct advantage if you understand you customers at a deep level, and understand their intent behind buying. Having this knowledge then allows you to attach the benefits of the product or service you are selling to meeting the customer’s needs.
In a sales context having NLP processes allow you to lead the thoughts of your customer in a direction that is useful to you. For example, you might lead your customer away from the price of the service/ product and towards the return of investment or status associated with the product/service. You can use future pacing or attaching good feelings to your product, which eliminate buyers remorse and limit hesitation. Future pacing allows the customer to imagine themselves with all the benefits that the service/ product or service brings. Using “as if” frame can help a customer to consider the possibilities and ideas of the product/service, and helps them to affiliate with it. Using modeling to continue to develop and strengthen sales skills is another component of NLP.
52. What are “Values” and why are they important?
Values are the tenets upon which a person’s existence is founded. They consist of beliefs and ideals arising from the person’s culture, society, family of origin, environment combined with the sum understanding of their life experiences. Values are usually classified into a hierarchy of importance and guide behaviour, decision making and interpretation of behaviour.
Values are important because whatever we do is done in order to fulfil a value, even though we are unlikely to be consciously aware of that value.
The majority of our values were established many years ago, many during childhood. Despite this, they are likely to be driving our behaviours decades later, mostly because we are not aware of them, and have therefore never got around to updating them.
As mentioned values have a hierarchy of importance, and this ranking of values is also likely to be both out of date and out of awareness. Consequently, we spend lots of time, energy, and money attempting to fulfil a value that has relatively little importance.
Being aware of our values, allows us to;
· Be more control of our actions and our emotions.
· Make better decisions, since we have greater awareness of what is truly important to us.
· Recognise what we need to do to feel good
· Find lots of different ways of fulfilling them - rather than doing the same old things as before.
53. Prepare a hypnotic phrase for each of the following Milton Model Patterns;
a) Mind reading. I know you think it is important that this exam was well written.
b) Conversational postulate. Can you imagine finishing reading this exam?
c) Simple conjunction. Thankyou for reading my exam and I would like a good result.
d) Cause and effect. As you read this exam you are getting smarter and smarter.
e) Selectional restriction violation. This exam has not said all there is to say about NLP.
f) Lack of referential index. You may not know it but this is the best exam you will read.
g) Deletion. I know you are impressed.
h) Unspecified verb. I created a great impression.
i) Analogical marking. You are ENJOYING reading this exam.
j) Ambiguities. All four of us are here for you.
k) Imbedded question. I wonder if you will notice the position of your feet as you read this exam?
l) Extended quotes. I remember hearing a friend say, that a long time ago their teacher told them that he had learnt from a mentor of his that NLP is an important topic to understand.
m) Tag question. You understand my hypnotic phrases, don’t you?
(note: NLP and i-NLP are interchangeable in this document. The i stands for integrated)
1. List seven presuppositions of NLP.
Presuppositions put a framework around i-NLP; they handle the issue of manipulation in advance and they constitute a theory of intervention. Presuppositions are the first step to ascertain the map which the person is using.
1) The meaning of your communication is the response you get
2) The map is not the territory (there is no map which can be the territory – all maps have a bias)
3) Requisite variety (the element in a system with the most flexibility will be the controlling element)
4) Communication is redundant (you cannot not communicate; you are always communicating, in all three major representational systems)
5) People work perfectly (separate the behaviour from the person, the message from the messenger; no one is broken/wrong- find out how they operate now so you can change that into something more useful/resourceful/desirable)
6) Energy flows where attention goes (from Huna)
7) People already have all the resources they need (i-NLP can help them to find what they need and access these resources at appropriate times)
2. Explain the Law of Requisite Variety
“The element in a system with the most flexibility will be the controlling element”.
In an i-NLP sense this refers to behavioural and neural flexibility. The more flexible you can be in; your view of a situation, the outcomes and ways to manage the situation, the more choices you will have in managing the situation. If something does not work, try something else (“try anything else”). The more times you can do this, will increase the likelihood of a better outcome. Rigidity and narrowness of scope in views, ideas, behaviours and perceived choices limits outcomes, and restricts options for success.
In a conceptual sense this theory can be likened to Darwin’s theory of evolutionary survival, in which the species with the most adaptability will survive.
3. What is Sensory Acuity, and why is it important?
Sensory acuity refers to one’s observational skills. It is the ability to make increasingly refined sensory distinctions in order to identify slight difference in what is observed, heard and felt. When used properly sensory acuity skills can help to determine progress in achieving outcomes.
Sensory Acuity is important because it pulls you out of a trance and brings you into uptime, thereby helping to determine where you are in relation to where you are going. Practising sensory acuity encourages you to regain curiosity, bring you into the now and calibrate for changes in people to indicate inner changes. During face to face communication, well developed sensory acuity will allow you to attend to changes or shifts in the other person’s skin colour, muscle movements, breathing, voice patterns and tone, posture and language which is used to create an awareness of the person’s internal state and shifts.
4. Which of the following are sensory based (S) and which are hallucinations (H)?
Her lips puffed (S)
He looked cold (H)
She was relieved (H)
Her pupils dilated (S)
He showed remorse (H)
The muscles on her face tightened (S)
The volume of his voice was lowered (S)
5. Describe “Rapport”
Rapport is the core of all relationships; it is bond, understanding, sympathy, resonance, affinity, harmony, empathy, links and ties to another person. It is a process of responsiveness; when people are like each other, they like each other; therefore, rapport is about having behaviours in common or being in-sync with someone.
Rapport can be thought of as the engagement and holding of the unconscious willing attention. It is the conscious or unconscious synchronisation of behaviour.
In an i-NLP sense, rapport earns you the right to ask, it is a principle of success and it creates a condition whereby a client accepts suggestions uncritically.
One of the intentions behind rapport is to meet other people at their map or model of the world and respect their individual differences, rather than trying to impose your own model of the world on them. This does not preclude helping people to access more useful resources in themselves. You can do this by first creating rapport with the person which allows you to gently lead them to a more resourceful state.
6. How do you get Rapport?
Rapport can be established by matching, mirroring and cross over mirroring of the three following elements of communication; physiology (55%), voice (38%) and words (7%). Matching, mirroring and cross over mirroring are achieved by being cognisant of the components of each element, observing the other person in terms of the three communication elements and their components and matching and mirroring accordingly.
Physiology is made up of posture, gesture, facial expression, blinking and breathing.
Voice is comprised of tone, tempo, timbre and volume.
Words encompass predicates (visual, auditory, kinaesthetic and auditory dialogue), key words, content chunks and common experiences and associations.
Matching other people’s communication allows for flexibility in communications and tends to result in heightened rapport with others. Determining and matching peoples lead modes (i.e. visual, kinaesthetic or auditory) encourages ease of communication, communication flow, mutual understanding and allows you to relate to the other person.
In order to determine people’s lead roles pay attention to the predicates they use as they talk, this will allow identification their primary or lead representational mode. Paying attention to nonverbal behaviours is also useful in determining primary processing modes, i.e. where the person breathes (high or low), their posture and the tone of their voice.
Matching and mirroring these elements in communication with someone will establish rapport because they increase understanding and responsiveness.
7. List five things you can match to get into rapport.
1) Posture
2) Representational system via predicates
3) Tone
4) Breathing
5) Volume
8. When do you use cross over mirroring and how?
“Cross over mirroring is matching a part of a person’s physiology with a different part of your physiology or a different item or movement; i.e they tap their foot under the table, and you match by tapping your pen on the desk” or if the person is blinking, tapping your pen in time with their blinking. Cross over mirroring is taking any repetitive behaviour of another person and matching the behaviour through another communication channel.
Cross over mirroring is used to gain rapport, as it builds rapport with the person’s unconscious mind, it is used when a subtle, less noticeable approach to rapport building is required, as it is less overt than mirroring or matching the other person’s behaviours directly. Effective cross-over mirroring can allow for pacing and leading to occur in interactions.
9. Draw the eye patterns of a normally organised right handed person.
When someone’s eyes move in a particular direction, you are able to ascertain if their thinking is visual, auditory or kinaesthetic. The picture below depicts the eye movements for a normally organised right handed person. Some left handed people can have the eye movements reversed. This picture shows movements from the observer’s point of view.
VC = Visual ConstructedVR = Visual RememberedAC = Auditory ConstructedAR = Auditory RememberedK = Kinaesthetic (Feelings)Ad = Auditory Digital (Self-talk)
10. Explain what is meant by “Primary Representational System” and how do you detect it?
The representational system is the five senses (the sensory modalities); visual, auditory, kinaesthetic, olfactory, gustatory (as well as auditory digital -self talk).
In NLP for practical purposes mental processing can be treated as if performed by these senses. It is called the representational because it is the way the human brain codes and represents communication, information and ideas inside to make sense of the world.
Humans thinks by picturing things, talking to themselves and having feelings (the other two senses (gustatory and olfactory) often seem less significant and closely associated, and this is why Visual, Auditory and Kinaesthetic are the primary representation systems).
In Freudian terms primary representational systems are known as “first access” or “primary experience”.
NLP asserts that for the majority of people in the majority of situations, three of the five sensory systems tend to dominate mental processing. The primary representational system is the favoured representation system an individual uses in a particular situation or context. When a person tends to use on internal sense habitually, this is understood to be their primary representational system. This was originally thought of as a persevering system; however it has come to be understood as fleeting and contextually specific.
Given that the primary representational systems are visual, kinaesthetic and auditory (V,A,K); the primary representational system is the mode which tends to dominate in conscious awareness. Thus, the system which is habitually favoured and most often used to think, speak and organise experiences is the primary representational system, and it is identifiable via predicates and physiology.
11. Explain what is meant by “Lead Representational System” and how do you detect it?
Just as we have a preferred / primary representational system for our conscious thinking, we also have a preferred means of bringing information into our conscious thought. This is called the ‘lead system’ in NLP, the internal sense that we use as a handle to reach back to a memory. It is how the information reaches the conscious mind. It is sometimes called the ‘input system’, as it supplies the material to think about consciously.Most people have a ‘lead system’ and it need not be the same as the preferred/primary system. For example, you may be a kinaesthetic person who thinks about an experience in terms of feelings. Similar to the primary representational system, this is confirmed by the words you use and your body language (predicates and physiology). In recalling a memory, someone may initially use a ‘visual’ image, which is later replaced by the comfortable kinaesthetic sensing they prefer. In this case the ‘visual’ system was used as the ‘lead system’. Thus, people have a preferred representational systems, as well as a lead system, which may or may not vary.
In essence, the Lead Representational System is the first system to take in information from outside, and is the first element in any strategy. Similar to the primary representational system it was once considered to be relatively stable, but has been found to be subject to change. The Lead system can be outside of conscious awareness, and can be detected by language predicates and physiology. The lead representational system is the system which a person habitually uses to process information or experiences; usually the one in which the person is able to make the most detailed distinctions.
To summarise representational systems;
When a person systematically uses one sense over the others, we call it primary representational system. The representational system that you prefer to use to find information to input into consciousness is called Lead representational System. And the system with which a person checks if the information you have recalled from your memory is correct is called Reference System.
12. Identify whether the following predicates are Visual (v), Auditory Tonal (At), Kinaesthetic (k), Olfactory (o), Gustatory (g), or auditory digital (Ad).
Stink (o)
Tension (k)
Push (k)
Watch (v)
Music (a)
Throw (k)
Bitter (g)
Tough (k)
See (v)
Yummy (g)
Look (v)
Sense (k)
Thoughtful (k)
Tell (a)
Warm (k)
Putrid (o)
Shocking (o)
Silent (a)
Hard (k)
Motivate (ad)
Brilliant (k)
Look (v)
Sense (k)
Thoughtful (ad)
Tell (a)
Warm (k)
Putrid (o)
Shocking (k)
Hear (a)
Remember (k)
Feel (k)
Taste (o)
Viewpoint (v)
Survey (ad)
13. Translate the following sentences into a different representational system.
Things look good. Things sound good.
Things sound good. Things feel good.
Everyday feels great! Everyday looks great.
You are really fired up! You are seeing red!
That sounds like a great idea. That looks like a great idea.
You really resonate well with me! I hear what you are saying.
People don’t see me as I see myself. I don’t feel like people understand me.
Your words leave me without feeling. Your words don’t resonate well with me.
Everyday above ground is a great day! Everyday looks beautiful.
It is so quiet that you can hear a pin drop. It feels so still.
Your words leave a sour taste in my mouth. Your words don’t sit right with me.
Others view me differently than I view myself. Other people hear me differently than I hear myself.
14. What is “overlapping representational systems” and when would you use the pattern?
Overlapping representational systems are used to gain access to and help to develop flexibility in a least preferred representational system. They are designed to move someone from the most preferred to least preferred representational system, using predicates to move them in any combination of V,A,K,O/G or Ad.
Overlapping is used to lead a person from a representational system they are using into another representational system. When a person has trouble accessing a representational system, they are limited in the way they recall memories, assign meaning and interact with the world. The problem can result from trauma, but can also be a result of an underdeveloped representational system. This technique will help them in developing access to that system.
15. What is meant by a “Physiology of excellence” and why is it important?
Through exploring the correlation between body posture and state, NLP has developed a number of techniques for changing emotional states through physical movement. Physiology, anchoring and the rehearsal techniques all utilize this premise.
Physiology has a direct effect on psychological and emotional states (developments such as the Felderkrais method and the Alexander Technique allow us to learn additional movement patterns, which enable greater flexibility of thinking and behaviour).
The general posture and breathing of a person is highly correlated with psychological state and their cognitive processes. A resourceful state will demonstrate a very different physiology to a non-resourceful state (i.e. motivation compared with depression). Conscious access to the posture and movement patterns that accompany resourceful states can allow us to recreate and re-access those states when required.
Physiology of excellence in NLP refers to modelling excellence in others and using in yourself and other people. It is based on the theory “any thing you can do, I can model and also do”. The principle that physiology (an external behaviour) impacts on our internal state allows us to rely on physiology to create states of excellence. By creating a positive physiology (i.e. a positive posture, breathing, head position, gestures etc) we are able to create a feeling of power, of success. (i.e. resourceful states).
Physiology of excellence is important in NLP, as the basis of NLP is the process of modelling, which has three elements; belief & values systems, physiology and strategies
NLP creates an attitude and methodology that leaves behind a trail of techniques, therefore, to be able to discover, elicit the patterns of, and utilize excellent behaviour in ourselves and others is an important outcome in NLP. Through the process of modelling, we are able to find and model excellent behaviour and install it in ourselves or someone else. In successful people it is often observed that they are generally in control of their state regardless of the external circumstances, and that they have an effective way of staying in a positive and up state. Recognising this, and subsequently, modelling their physiology allows us to create positive states also. Thus, physiology of excellence allows us to model more successful and resourceful behaviours in order to achieve outcomes.
16. List six modalities of calibration.
1) Voice tone
2) Skin colour
3) Micro muscle movements
4) Gesture
5) Pupil dilation
6) Breathing rate
17. Explain voice tone, tempo and timbre?
Voice tone, tempo and timbre are all components of the “Voice” component of rapport and communication. Tone refers to the pitch, tempo refers to the speed and timbre refers to the quality of the sound.
18. List seven of the keys to achievable outcomes (the well-formed conditions)?
1) Stated in the positive
2) Self initiated and maintained
3) Sensory based
4) Well contextualised as to who, where and when
5) Has clear evidence procedure
6) Has access to resources
7) Is ecologically sound
19. What is the “Meta Model”?
The Meta Model was developed by John Grinder and Richard Bandler to enable users to identify and clarify classes of natural language patterns to improve the flow of accurate information between people. The Meta Model uses language to draw out and determine someone’s map of the world which is below the surface of thinking. The Meta Model takes distortions and helps to make the connections that were lost in the distortion filter, to return to sensory based experience. The Meta Model enables users to verify, clarify and specify imprecise verbal and written communication and provides questions which elicit information which was previously generalised, distorted and deleted.
The Meta Model is a set of language patterns that focus attention on how people delete, distort, generalize, limit, or specify their realities. It provides a series of questions useful for making communication more specific, recovering lost or unspecified information, and loosening rigid patterns of thinking. The Meta Model is used to uncover the "deep structure" underneath the "surface structure" of someone. For example, if someone says "This is better", he shows his surface structure. To uncover his deep structure, you'll have to ask him questions like:"Better than what?" You ask specific questions, listen to their language pattern, and watch how they respond to things or words.
The Meta Model identifies the following patterns of distortions, deletions and generalisations in someone’s language, responds to them and causes the person to recover and specify their experience;
Mind reading
Lost performatives
Cause – effect
Complex equivalence
Presuppositions
Universal quantifiers
Modal operators (necessity and possibility)
Nominalisations
Unspecified verbs
Simple deletions
Lack of referential index
Comparative deletions
20. Whose work inspired the Meta Model?
Virginia Satir
Milton Erikson
Fritz Perls
21. What are the three processes of internalising designed to help us maintain our sanity on which the Meta model is based?
Filtering the information and stimulus, which is received each moment, occurs to prevent us from being overwhelmed. Deleting information, distorting information and generalising information are three process of internalising designed for this purpose.
22. First, identify the Meta Model violation in the following sentences and then, write an appropriate Meta Model challenge.
I’m angry. Simple Deletion. What specifically are you angry about?
Sue loves me. Unspecified Verb. How do you know that Sue loves you?
Susan hurt me. Unspecified Verb. How specifically were you hurt by Susan?
It’s wrong to cheat. Lost performative. According to whom?
I regret my decision. Simple Deletion. What about your decision is causing you to feel regret?
He makes me happy. Cause and effect. What does he do to make you happy?
I should study harder. Comparative deletion. Study harder than whom?
Nobody ever pays any attention to me. Universal Quantifier. Nobody? Ever?
23. What is personal power and how does one get it?
Personal power is being able to identify what do you do well and what you don’t do well, in order to determine where to focus energy and attention, is personal power as it allows you to know what to learn next. Personal power is being able to identify limiting beliefs and overcome them.
23. What is “state” and why is it important?
State refers to an overall physiological and psychological condition of a person. It encompasses beliefs, capabilities, values and behaviour within a particular context at a particular time. State is important in NLP as recognition of differences between states and outcomes is crucial in setting achievable goals or outcomes.
The table below demonstrates the different characteristics between states and goals.
State or Value
Goal or Outcome
Stated ambiguously
Stated specifically
Write affirmations
Write goals/outcomes
You Can Have It Now
Time Is Involved
No steps — Just associate
Steps needed to get there
Infinite or not measurable
Measurable
Stated for self and/or others
Stated for self only
24. What is a “pattern interrupt” and when would you use it?
A pattern interrupt is a series of interruptions that break a habit or state, to the point that the interruption becomes part of the pattern. In terms of strategies, to make a behaviour work it needs 1,2,3,4 to be firing in the correct order for it to effectively work. Consider interrupting the sequence. When you continuously interrupt the behaviour or state as it's trying to work itself, the pattern is unable to fire off and consequently the person experiences the intervention you are using as part of the process, and as a result they are unable to successfully undertake old pattern anymore.
25. Describe the following frames and tell when you use them;
A Frame is the way we look at something. We put different things into different frames to look at it from a different point of view.
Evidence Frame: part of the outcome frame used to measure progress
This frame is a component of the outcome frame and is used to determine evidence. The evidence frame is used as a gauge to assess progress towards outcomes, and to recognise when an outcome has been achieved. Using the evidence frame allows you to determine if corrective action should be taken or if a new or modified outcome should be set. The evidence frame uses questions such as “how will you know when you have achieved your outcome? What will you see, hear, feel or experience?”
Backtrack Frame: To review or summarize, using another's key words and tonalities.
Backtrack is to go back and review, summarise or contemplate what has been covered. The backtrack frame is used when a persons mind is wandering. Backtracking is communicating back the ‘essence’ of what someone has said. Summarising allows you to ensure that what was said is what was meant and ensure both parties in communication have understood what was meant. Backtracking is undertaken using the original speaker's vocal tones, body language and even the words and phrases they used. Through repetition of someone’s words, gestures, etc, you can strengthen rapport by repeating their original words and behavior rather than by paraphrasing. In a group setting or presentation, backtracking can strengthen people’s memories of key points.Backtracking is an effective way to maintain and increase rapport, as it allows the person to know that you were listening and you have not judged what they have said, whilst also allowing you to ensure your own understanding and seek clarification.
We all filter information differently and may come to significantly different conclusions. Backtracking is a way to ensure everyone has the same understanding of what was discussed and decided and helps to maintain a course towards the desired outcome.
Relevancy Frame: Asking how a specific statement or behaviour is helping to achieve an agreed outcome.
Relevancy frame can be summed up as a statement of Relevance. A relevancy frame is used when person is on a tangent or another train of thought that is irrelevant to the desired outcome. The relevancy frame brings the person back to the topic at hand, rather than allowing the communication to become sidetracked.
Contrast Frame: comparison between thoughts.
A contrast is a comparison between two separate thoughts. It is used to shift perspective by making a comparison in which the opposite comparison has not been recognised.
Ecology Frame: Asking what effects your thoughts and actions have on larger systems (i.e. on yourself, your family, your financial situation...).
Ecology is the study of the consequences or results or impact of any change that occurs on the wider system. Ecology frames are used when making changes in order to examine the consequences for self, family, society and planet. Someone who pursues outcomes with no regard for the impact on other systems (e.g. family, work, community) has not used the ecology frame. The ecology frame allows you to determine any negative effects of the outcome and change or mitigate to avoid or manage these.
"As If" Frame: Thinking as if something had occurred. "What would it be like if...".
The As-If Frame refers to "acting as if" something were true and is already occurring, such as pretending to be competent at something that you are not. The As If frame makes it easier for a person to internally explore the possibilities and ideas which would normally be unavailable due to limitations in beliefs. The As If frame temporarily draws aside limiting beliefs to allow the person to explore alternative possibilities, in a manner which is not threatening or challenging to their existing conceptual world-view. Thereby allowing for more rapid work and information gathering and avoiding internal resistance. This frame can encourage people to begin to imagine moving beyond limiting beliefs.
26. What is an Anchor?
Robert Dilts “Anchor: Stimuli that will consistently produce the same internal data in an individual”.
Bandler & Grinder: “Anchoring refers to the tendency for any one element of an experience to bring back the entire experience.”
Sid Jacobson: ... “it [is] an NLP way of talking about classical (Pavlov's) conditioning, but it made a lot more sense.”
An anchor essentially is when an external stimulus is paired with an internal state. In a psychological sense anchoring is stimulus response conditioning, anchoring is a form of operant conditioning. Any time a person is in an associated, intense state, if at the peak of that experience, a specific stimulus is applied, then the two will be linked neurologically, and in NLP this is called and Anchor.
Anchoring is when a memory recall, state change or other responses become associated with a stimulus, in a manner that perception of the stimulus (the anchor) leads by reflex to the anchored response occurring. An anchor is applying a gesture, touch or sound just prior to a state peaking, either for yourself or on another person, so that the state can be re-activated by using that gesture, touch or sound. Anchoring can assist you in gaining access to past states and linking the past state to the present and the future.
Anchoring is used in NLP to facilitate state management. In this sense an anchor is set up to be triggered by a consciously chosen stimulus, deliberately linked by practice to a known useful state, to provide reflexive access to that state at will.
27. What are the five keys to anchoring?
The Intensity of the Experience
The Purity of the State
The Timing of the Anchor
The Uniqueness of the Anchor
The Accuracy of Duplication of Anchor
28. Describe how to anchor someone?
There are Four Steps to Anchoring – RACE (recall, anchor, change and evoke):
Have the person Recall a past vivid experience.
Anchor (Provide) a specific stimulus just prior to the peak
Change the person's state (break state)
Evoke the State — Set off the anchor to test.
29. Describe the process of collapse anchors and tell when it is useful to do so.
Collapsing anchors is used to get rid of negative or non-resourceful states and replace them with positive resourceful states. Collapsing anchors allows you to encounter a situation that used to cause a negative reaction and avoid a negative reaction as well as responding very positively towards it.
The following describes the process of collapsing anchors.
Get into rapport with the client.
Tell the client what you are about to do: "In just a moment I am going to do a process called 'Collapse Anchors' (explain), and that will necessitate that I touch you. Is that okay?"
Decide on which Resource (positive) States are desired/required, and decide on the Negative State to be collapsed. Make it clear which states specifically are involved.
As you elicit the Positive States get into each one before you elicit it in the client.
Make sure that the client is in a fully associated congruent, intense, state for each of the states you anchor
Anchor all the positive states in the same place, i.e. a knuckle or other easily identifiable comfortable place.
Anchor the negative state once.
Fire anchors at the same time until they peak, and the integration is complete. (Monitor the client for signs of asymmetry until the integration is complete.)
Release the negative anchor
Hold the positive anchor for 5 seconds and then release
Test: "Now how do feel about that old state?"
Future Pace: "Can you imagine a time in the future when you might be in a similar situation, and what happens?"
Collapsing Anchors is useful for eliminating a negative state.
30. What is chaining anchors and when would you use the technique?
Chaining is a technique that is employed when the desired/resource state is significantly different from the present state and the present state is a stuck state.
By establishing a few anchors, you are able to fire them off one after the other, changing the state as each emotion is at its peak. Thereby moving through a sequence of states. A useful chaining anchor can make you (by firing it off a few times) go through the different states automatically, i.e. the first state will induce a process that automatically leads to the last state.
Get in rapport.
Tell the client what you are about to do: "In just a moment I am going to do a process called 'Chaining Anchors' (explain), and that will necessitate that I touch you. Is that O.K.?"
Identify the undesirable present state (e.g.: Procrastination), and decide on the positive/resource end state (e.g.: Motivation).
Design the chain: Decide on what intermediate states are needed to lead to the end state. (eg: "You're procrastinating, what gets you off that state?")
Get into each state as you elicit and anchor each state separately, beginning with the present state through the end state. (You may have to stack all states to get a high intensity.) Make sure that the subject is out of previous state prior to anchoring the next one. (Break State between states, especially between the last one and the first one.)
Test each state. Make sure that the client goes into each one.
Chain each state together firing #1 and when #1 is at its peak add #2, and then release #1. When #2 comes to the peak, add #3, then release #2. Add #4, etc. in the same way.
Test: Fire present state anchor. Client should end up in final state.
Ask the client, "Now how do you feel about __________." eg: How do you feel about procrastination.
Future Pace: "Can you think of a time in the future which if it had happened in the past you would have _______________ (eg: Procrastinated) and tell me what happens instead?"
31. Describe how you would discover how your client stores time. Then, elicit your own time line and draw a picture of it here.
An important NLP discovery is that people store time spatially. Our memories of our life is stored in one straight line, the timeline. This line connects the past, the present and the future. It starts with birth and ends with death. Our past experiences do determine who we are and how we act. By changing our timeline we can change ourselves.
Asking clients to draw their time line enables us to discover how they store time;
· People who visualize their past behind them, the present in front of them and the future somewhere ahead of the present may have a difficult time with planning. They can only focus on the present moment.
· Some people imagine their past directly in front of them, with the present and future veering off to one side. They literally can't focus too well on the present or future because the past is intruding too much on their attention.
· Other people imagine time as a straight line in front of them. While they may be excellent at planning and being objective, they may be less capable of enjoying the present moment.
In keeping with the concept of updating our internal maps of the world to more useful ones, NLP utilizes a number of techniques to change how past events are stored in the brain. The purpose is to modify the affects of stored memory on present behaviour, as well as nullify conflicts arising from unresolved issues from the past.
In NLP the Journey line is positioned in a specific place to do work and then return it, if desired, to the client’s original position. The standard position for Practitioners to work from is Future on Right, Past on the Left and the path is positioned in a straight line in front of the person (horizontally).
My timeline
Birth schooling university travel work NLP studies future......
32. What is an intervention for the removal of guilt?
A swish pattern; switching one picture rapidly for another picture, allows us to lead our brain in a new direction thereby allowing us to replace problem states or behaviours with more useful states or behaviours. This pattern could be used as an intervention for the removal of guilt, with guilt being an non-resourceful state. The swish pattern is a form of pattern interrupt designed to assist in changing direction , to interrupt the pattern we have been running (problem state or behaviour) and replace it with a more useful pattern (desired state or behaviour). By engaging in the problem state (i.e. guilt) we are running a pattern that is coded and stored in our neurology.
The first part of a swish pattern is to create an associated image of the non-resourceful state. Given that we have previously experienced this state (guilt) or behaviour we will an internal representation of it which will encompass kinaesthetic or feelings, and considering that this is something we wish to change we will very likely have negative feelings about it.
By associating fully into the picture and seeing it through our own eyes we triggers the kinaesthetic; putting us in touch with the negative feelings (guilt) that we wish to move away from. Next in the swish pattern we create a second picture as dissociated; essentially showing ourselves how things could look and how we could look having made this change now. By dissociating the second picture we help to project it internally not only as a worthwhile goal but also as something achievable in reality.
The third part of the pattern is the “swish”. When we visualise images, the strength of the feelings associated to the images is directly affected by submodality distinctions such as the size of the image, location and the brightness. Big, bright images up close in our field of vision will most likely trigger stronger feelings than small, dark images which are off in the distance. “Swishing” from the non-resourceful state (guilt) to the resourceful state allows for an effective intervention. The swish pattern also includes anchoring. The picture of the undesired state / behaviour becomes the stimulus which automatically triggers the response - the picture of the desired state / behaviour. Thereby reinforcing the instruction to our unconscious mind to leave the problem state / behaviour (guilt) behind and move toward the desired state / behaviour.
There are many versions of the Swish pattern in NLP. Here is a description of one, which incorporates V-A-K: Visual, Kinaesthetic, and Auditory channels.
· Identify the mood/feeling (i.e. guilt) and put in on the back of your right hand. Feel and see a memory of that toxic state. As you bring the hand closer it intensifies the negative feelings.
· Shake that off and break state. It is critical to clear your head before #3.
· What state do you want to be in? What is opposite of the toxic (i.e. guilt) state? Recall a time when you were in that ideal state (i.e. not guilty, maybe proud?) imagine it intensely; see, hear, and feel what that is like, breath the way you did, now. When you have it amplified to a 10/10, put it on the back of your left hand. This is your positive anchor. As you bring the hand close you feel better.
· Shake it off and break state.
· Put your right hand out in front of you and as you bring it in the negative feeling will intensify (i.e. guilt). Allow yourself to experience it, as it is only a feeling. Get your left hand into position in front of you with arm fully extended; just left of centre. So now you have the right hand “in your face” close and the left hand at full extension. As you say the word “swish,” rapidly push your right arm out to full extension and bring the left/positive hand in real close. With the left hand close, recall the positive state intensely. The arm movement is to be done rapidly and with intense feelings.
· Shake it off and break state.
· Test: look at your right hand. Is there still some negative feeling (guilt) left? If it is gone, great. If not, repeat exercise as many times as you need until the looking at the right hand is completely emotionally neutral.
33. What is an intervention for a limiting decision?
The As-If Frame could be used to help a client move past a limiting decision. With the as-if frame the client is able to act as if something were true and is already occurring, such as pretending to not have that limiting belief. The As If frame makes it easier for a person to internally explore the possibilities and ideas which would normally be unavailable due to limitations in beliefs.
The triple description method could also be used for a limiting decision, as it allows us to take on multiple perspectives on a decision, providing a foundation for wisdom. The process involves looking at the decision from a fully associated perspective, from another person’s perspective and from an observers perspective (dissociated).
Anchor Integration is another approach which could be used for a limiting decision, as it allows for additional choice to be made available in a specific context. This can be used alone, or in congruence with reframing, and other processes.
34. What is an intervention for a negative emotion?
Collapse Anchoring is an NLP intervention for negative emotion, allowing a negative emotion to be replaced with a positive or more resourceful emotion.
35. Describe how to do a “change personal history” and tell when to use this technique?
If you have memories that are unpleasant and that still have a negative impact, NLP can help to transform them into positive memories. You can do this by recalling the memory and add some resources. To do this, go back to the memory you want to change. If there are more than one memory of this kind, try to detect the first memory and go back to it. Now, dissociate from it. Identify the resources that you would have needed in that situation to change it to a positive memory. Anchor these resources and see the memory as if you already had the resources you needed to make it a positive memory (while still being dissociated from it). Add the resources until the memory is positive. Travel back into the present and change all the memories that happened as a result from the first memory. And then, future pace so that it will never happen again.
Changing personal history is an NLP intervention that can be done with oneself or with another person. This is a powerful exercise wherein a person revisits an non-resourceful state, and then through anchoring a non-resourceful behaviour/state/ feeling is replaced with a good decision or experience and anchored. Then future pacing determines whether this change in the remembered experience is okay.
Change personal History is for the purpose of changing a number of memories in the past and adding resources.
How?
1. The client identifies a situation or context where they are less resourceful, have a recurring unpleasant feeling or would like something resolved.
2. Assist the client in accessing the state, anchor it, and test the anchor.
3. Hold the anchor and assist the client in using feelings to go back in time. Continue to hold the anchor until the client recovers the earliest possible time.
4. Have the client dissociate from the experience and watch it as an adult, seeing the younger self. With all their adult resources available.
5. While holding the anchor, have the client relive the earliest memory in a new and resourceful way, then have the client grow up through the other times they had remembered.
6. Future pace. Hold the anchor while the client thinks through how they will feel and behave in future similar contexts.
This pattern is useful for altering the way we or a client respond to a given stimulus. If we are responding in a habitual, non-resourceful, unrewarding manner, this pattern can help us access states of greater resources, allowing us to break unhealthy cycles and patterns in our relationships with others.
36. What is the difference between association and dissociation, and when is each useful?
All experiences are perceived to occur at some point along a continuum of associations or disassociations. Association is when the experience is felt to be part of us, or that we are part of the experience. We seem to be identified with the experience or connected somehow with it. Dissociation is when we feel we are watching, listening to or observing the event from the outside. Dissociation means literally to disconnect, create some distance, to gain perspective, to see situations and ourselves in perspective. Association means to connect closely, to participate in the here and now. In dealing with any external stimulus, like a problem, we can choose whether you want to Associate or Dissociate. We can shift from one to the other to gain a more complete understanding and insight. The properties of association and dissociation are such powerful components of any experience that they enable us to transform the experience itself.
Association is useful when we want to feel more connected or one with a present pleasant experience, a past powerful experience, or a future desirable state. Association is the state we live in, the subjective experience.
Association is useful for:
· Enjoying ourselves (Associate with happiness, success, feelings of love and joy – live for the moment.)
· Empowering ourselves with successes.
· Utilizing positive experiences.(When tackling a problem draw from past successes – think of all the thousands of problems you have already solved.)
· Accessing resourcefulness.
· Accessing past positive states.
· Writing down a problem immediately dissociates one from it.
Dissociation is useful when we want to feel free from past pain, present stress, or when there is a future goal toward which you want to be motivated.
Dissociation is useful for:
· Dealing with conflict.(It allows us to have better control of the situation and enables you to ask questions in an objective manner and tone).
· Monitoring yourself. (Stand apart from ourselves.)
· See ourselves from outside ourselves. (See ourselves through the eyes of someone else. Step outside of ourselves to manage conflict.)
· Enabling us to:
o Feel pain
o Remain in control
o Feel no emotion which obscures judgment
o Learn from negative experiences
o Build resourcefulness
o Design desired states
37. If you see yourself in the picture, are you associated or dissociated?
Dissociated.
38. What is a phobia?
A phobia is an intense and persistent fear of certain stimulus (i.e. people, animals, situation).
Symptomology of a phobia includes excessive and unreasonable desire to avoid the stimulus. The fears from the phobia create what is called a ‘phobic response’, which is an intense irrational fear, a strong emotional reaction or response to something. The phobic response is a catalyst for the fight or flight response (usually flight for people with phobia’s). A phobia is distinct from fear, as fear can be thought of as a rational, functional response, whereas a phobia is irrational and dysfunctional.
A phobia is created; not inherited, taught or caught. The mind can create a phobia at a time of stress, typically in a situation where there has been a confusion of the senses and more specifically a connection between feelings (kinesthetic) and visual or auditory stimuli.
39. Describe how to remove a phobia?
The creation of a phobia takes only a few moments of your time and yet lasts for a lifetime. Of all the abilities of the human mind the creation of phobias can be considered as one of the most amazing.
The fast phobia technique is a triple dissociation model. The purpose is to combine the use of rapport, calibration, anchoring, submodalities and verbal instruction to facilitate the procedure.
How?
1. Acknowledge the part that has been generating the intense response. Reframe its behaviour as “protection” and assure it that this procedure is designed to improve its ability to protect the individual.
2. Access and calibrate to the phobic state. Break State.
3. Establish 3 place dissociation and anchor (i.e. in a projection booth of a theatre where the client can imagine seeing themselves in the theatre and up on the screen in a neutral context).
4. Run a black and white movie of the phobic experience all the way past the end until the client can see that they have survived and they are okay.
5. Associate into the last image on the screen, and re-experience the event backwards, in colour, fully associated in about 2 seconds.
6. Test and future pace
40. What is strategy?
A strategy is a set of mental and behavioural steps which produce a specific outcome (i.i. what you do to produce a specific behaviour). Every unconscious process is a strategy. A strategy is the order and sequence of the internal and external representations that produce a specific result. When you want to do something, you could, for example, make a picture of yourself doing this thing, talk to yourself about how you will do it... A strategy can consist of internal and external visual, auditory and kinaesthetic components. For everything we do, we have a strategy.
A strategy can be described as a specific syntax of external and internal experiences which consistently produce a specific outcome. Human experience is an endless series of representations. To deal with this endless sequence it is useful to suspend the process, and contextualize it in terms of outcomes.
In NLP, strategies are what we do to get what we want. Strategies are a sequence of representational systems in our mind that lead to an outcome.
We all know by now that NLP teaches that there are 3 areas of change:
· Internal States
· External Behaviors
· Representational Systems
Strategies fall into the realm of Representational Systems and have three components:
· An Outcome
· A Sequence of representational Systems
· The submodalities of the those Representational Systems
Strategy Categories
· Decision Strategies
· Motivation Strategies
· Learning Strategies
· Reality Strategies
· Memory Strategies
The purpose behind studying mentors is to discover their strategy or recipe for achieving the results they do. When all the steps are revealed, they can be duplicated, leading to similar results. There is a strategy behind every human activity; the key is to find the most effective ones and model those.
The Components - DUCKIe
· Discover: The first step is to discover the person's strategy through the process of elicitation.
· Utilization: The next step is to utilize the strategy by feeding back information to the person in the order and sequence that it was elicited.
· Change & Design: The next step is to then be able to change the strategy —to make changes in it so that it produces the desired outcome. This component includes the design of strategies.
· Installation: We then may want to install a new strategy if needed.
Strategies involve everything we do. All our daily activity is generated & maintained by strategies. Whether or not we finish what we do is governed by a strategy.
The T.O.T.E Model (Test/Trigger, Operate, Test, Exit) is used in NLP and it provides a flowchart, which consists of “Operating” on the stimulus of the internal map and altering it, “Testing” for congruence or incongruence, and “Exiting” if desirable result is attained.
41. What are the steps in eliciting a strategy?
Formal Strategy Elicitation - Script
Establish Rapport
Can you remember a time when you were completely X'd? Can you remember a specific time? (For eliciting state strategies)orThink back on when you made that decision. (For eliciting action strategies)
And as you go back to that time now...
What was the very first thing that caused you to [be totally X'd / make that decision]?
Was it something you saw (or the way someone looked at you)?
Was it something you heard (or the tone of someone's voice)?
Was it the touch of someone or something?
After that, what was the very next thing that happened [as you were totally X'd / that caused you to make that decision]?
Did you picture something in your mind?
Did you say something to yourself?
Or did you have a certain feeling or emotion?
After that, did you know [you were totally X'd / it was time to decide]?(If not, keep looping on question #4 and #5 until you have the complete strategy)
42. List six (6) visual and six (6) kinaesthetic and six (6) auditory submodalities.
Visual;
Black or white
Near or far
Bright or dim
Framed or panoramic
Focused or Still
Movie or still
Kinaesthetic;
Location
Size
Shape
Intensity
Duration
Vibration
Movement
Auditory;
Volume
Pitch
Tone
Timbre
Pauses
Internal or external
43. What is a “reframe” and when is it useful?
Reframing is putting a different frame or perspective on thoughts about a situation or behaviour. If you change the context, meaning or content of any situation, you change the meaning. The basis of reframing is to separate intention from behaviour. The two major kinds of reframes are the Context Reframe and the Content Reframe.
44. What is the difference between a “context” and “content” reframe?
Context reframing is giving another meaning to a statement by altering the context. If the unconscious mind likes the alternative statement, it will change the way it is held in the deeper mind. Context reframing takes an undesired attribute and finds a different situation where it would be valuable. Context reframing can also be used to describe changing the representation of a problem.With a context reframe a person takes the undesired behaviour and asks, "Where could this behaviour be useful?" or "In what other context would this behaviour be of value?"A context reframe leaves the meaning of a behaviour as it is, and demonstrates how it could be a useful response in a different context.
A context reframe is useful for situations in which a person has assumed that the particular bbehaviour has no value. By asking the question when or where would this behaviour be useful or viewed as a resource you can develop a context reframe. Context reframes are created by asking “What else could this behaviour mean?" or "What is it that this person hasn't noticed (in this context) that will bring about a different meaning, and change their response?" A context reframe aligns with the NLP presupposition that all behaviours are useful in some context.
Content reframes give another meaning to a statement by recovering additional content which changes the focus or meaning. The content or meaning of a situation is determined by what we choose to focus on (i.e. viewing situations as problems or opportunities). Content reframes look for other meanings in behaviour, and align to the NLP presupposition that every behaviour has a positive intention. Asking “what else could this behaviour mean?” and “what is the positive value in this behaviour” create foundations for content reframe. Content reframes are useful when a person has limited their resourcefulness by attributing a specific meaning to a situation which may or may not be true.
45. What are the six steps in a six step reframe?
The purpose of a 6-Step Reframe is to find the benefits behind any behaviour and install new ways to achieve those benefits more elegantly (The Six-Step Reframe is no longer commonly used, having been replaced by Parts Integration). A 6 Step Reframe is undertaken to establish bridges,(channels of communication) between client's unconscious and conscious mind, to instil in the person a belief that all parts are allies.
The Process
Identify the troubling behaviour or response or behaviour that the client would like to have more choices about.
Establish communication with the part creating the unwanted behaviour or response. Ask if it would be willing to communicate consciously. This communication might be a sensation somewhere in the body, a picture, voice or sound. (What image, sound/word, sensation was client aware of when asking that question. Ask the part to increase that image, sound, sensation if answer is yes; decrease if answer is no.) When you get a signal, first thank the part for responding.
Find the positive intention. Ask the part "What do you want? What positive thing are you trying to do for me? The key here is to recognize the difference between the parts intention and the way it is going about getting it. (The Part can answer consciously or unconsciously. Client must accept that the part does have some positive intention.)
Ask the client to consider that the unconscious is doing the best it can to achieve something for them. Is there thanks or even appreciation? They may have a long history of fighting and shaming this response. Assuming that this aspect of self has a positive intention can create rapport and therefore makes it more willing to cooperate.Thank part for positive intention and make sure client begins to sincerely appreciate part.
Ask client to go to creative unconscious part, and ask that it generate at least 3 alternatives to behaviour X that would satisfy the intention (another option is to have the part responsible for behaviour X go to the creative part directly, to inform that part of its purpose, this can be useful when purpose remains unconscious).
These new choices can be on a conscious level. Request the creative part gives the client a signal when the new alternatives have been generated.Thank creative part.
Have the part evaluate these new choices. Are they acceptable? Will they be as good as or better than the previous behaviour? It needs to be willing to try them out for the next month or longer if appropriate. Request a yes/no signal.
The key here is negotiation. If the part with the unwanted behaviour is not satisfied with these alternatives, it is unlikely to try them.
If you receive a yes signal, thank part and go on. If the alternatives are not acceptable, go back to step 4 for better choices. Thank part.
Ask client to check with all their parts to make sure all are comfortable and accept the entire process and the alternatives. Check for objections with other parts with an ecology check and future pacing. Ensure you consider unintended consequences. If there are objections, put them through the same process from step 2 (asking- what is the positive intention etc?). Thank all parts.
46. What is the agreement frame and when would you use it?
The agreement frame is a linguistic tool that we can use to verbally pace the person we are communicating with and then lead them to where we want the communication to go. The agreement frame allows us disagree with a person or subject matter without upsetting them or the communication.
The agreement frame takes one of the following forms:-
· I agree........and........
· I appreciate........and........
· I respect........and........
Having flexibility is crucial in effective communication. Being able to avoid resistance from other and maintain their involvement in what is being said leaves them open to new ideas. Resistance can be eliminated by avoiding negations such as “but” and “however”. The agreement frame allows us to communicate with people of different viewpoints whilst neither creating resistance or compromising your own beliefs and values.
47. What is a conditional close and when would you use it?
A conditional close is a reframe where you consider the sale done but assume it by giving them the conditions where if they agree, the conditions will determine the outcome i.e. the sale or agreement. A conditional close frame helps you determine from the outset what issues need to be satisfied before a solution can be finalized. It's also used to create the appropriate desired outcome and to you also filter any future objections.
48. What are five NLP insights into conducting a successful meetings?
a) Determine the outcome
b) Develop the evidence procedure
c) Establish membership and agenda
d) Develop options
e) Establish rapport
49. Why is “Intent” important in negotiations?
Defining and understanding the intent of both parties in negotiations is crucial to success. From the intent you can chunk up to an agreement. Using the Positive Intent pattern in negotiations when two parties cannot agree on the details, can result in agreement by chunking up to a higher level.
How?
Find the positive intention and purpose behind the issues of each party. The positive intention will necessarily be at a higher level than the issues creating the conflict. ("You cannot solve a problem at the same level of thinking that is creating the problem.") Positive intentions will typically not be opposites or polarities. More often they are complementary, and beneficial systemically as opposed to individually.For successful negotiation ensure sure that each party recognises and acknowledges the positive intent of the other. This does not mean that either party has to accept the method with which the other is attempting to satisfy the positive intention, nor does it mean that either party has to compromise his or her position.
50. What are five of the NLP tactics for negotiations?
a) Determine intent
b) Determine your outcome
c) Develop as many options as possible to achieve that outcome
d) Identify issues to be resolved and plan how to discuss them
e) Determine your best alternative to an agreement
NLP considers the negotiation process from three points of view. The first is our own viewpoint and how we see the result of the process. We need to have clarity about what would be a successful outcome. We also need to set boundaries set on where we are prepared to move to and where we are not.The second viewpoint is that of the other party in the negotiation. We need to gain both knowledge and feeling about the position they are in and the sort of outcome they are looking for. Sometimes our projected outcome will be very compatible with the other persons. Other time they will not be close at all and we will need all your negotiating skills to effect a mutually agreeable deal.The third viewpoint is to try and look at your deal or arrangement from a completely objective standpoint. This can be very difficult where strong emotions are involved. We need to see from the outside looking in whether the hoped for end result works for both parties and ends up with achieving the desired end result.Using NLP we can create in your mind an end result that we are completely happy with and works for both parties. NLP helps us to focus on what we really want rather than what we think we want. Most times there is one main objective that we are striving to achieve and we need to be absolutely sure you know what this is. If we do not know for sure what our goal is we will not hit it and we will come away from the negotiating with the wrong outcome and bad feeling (as discussed above in why intent is so important to negotiations).
51. Is NLP useful in successful selling? And if so, how so?
Yes, NLP is successful in selling. NLP helps you develop rapport with customers, thereby eliminating resistance and making them more open to your suggestions. Spending time creating rapport can help you to spend less time handling objections later. Also, in being able to calibrate an unconscious yes or no, you can then know when to close.
NLP helps to understand the intent behind a person’s behaviour, looking deeper underneath the surface and examining beliefs, values and strategies. Being aware of these allow you insight into what drives peoples behaviour. Therefore, in a sales environment, you are at a distinct advantage if you understand you customers at a deep level, and understand their intent behind buying. Having this knowledge then allows you to attach the benefits of the product or service you are selling to meeting the customer’s needs.
In a sales context having NLP processes allow you to lead the thoughts of your customer in a direction that is useful to you. For example, you might lead your customer away from the price of the service/ product and towards the return of investment or status associated with the product/service. You can use future pacing or attaching good feelings to your product, which eliminate buyers remorse and limit hesitation. Future pacing allows the customer to imagine themselves with all the benefits that the service/ product or service brings. Using “as if” frame can help a customer to consider the possibilities and ideas of the product/service, and helps them to affiliate with it. Using modeling to continue to develop and strengthen sales skills is another component of NLP.
52. What are “Values” and why are they important?
Values are the tenets upon which a person’s existence is founded. They consist of beliefs and ideals arising from the person’s culture, society, family of origin, environment combined with the sum understanding of their life experiences. Values are usually classified into a hierarchy of importance and guide behaviour, decision making and interpretation of behaviour.
Values are important because whatever we do is done in order to fulfil a value, even though we are unlikely to be consciously aware of that value.
The majority of our values were established many years ago, many during childhood. Despite this, they are likely to be driving our behaviours decades later, mostly because we are not aware of them, and have therefore never got around to updating them.
As mentioned values have a hierarchy of importance, and this ranking of values is also likely to be both out of date and out of awareness. Consequently, we spend lots of time, energy, and money attempting to fulfil a value that has relatively little importance.
Being aware of our values, allows us to;
· Be more control of our actions and our emotions.
· Make better decisions, since we have greater awareness of what is truly important to us.
· Recognise what we need to do to feel good
· Find lots of different ways of fulfilling them - rather than doing the same old things as before.
53. Prepare a hypnotic phrase for each of the following Milton Model Patterns;
a) Mind reading. I know you think it is important that this exam was well written.
b) Conversational postulate. Can you imagine finishing reading this exam?
c) Simple conjunction. Thankyou for reading my exam and I would like a good result.
d) Cause and effect. As you read this exam you are getting smarter and smarter.
e) Selectional restriction violation. This exam has not said all there is to say about NLP.
f) Lack of referential index. You may not know it but this is the best exam you will read.
g) Deletion. I know you are impressed.
h) Unspecified verb. I created a great impression.
i) Analogical marking. You are ENJOYING reading this exam.
j) Ambiguities. All four of us are here for you.
k) Imbedded question. I wonder if you will notice the position of your feet as you read this exam?
l) Extended quotes. I remember hearing a friend say, that a long time ago their teacher told them that he had learnt from a mentor of his that NLP is an important topic to understand.
m) Tag question. You understand my hypnotic phrases, don’t you?
irony of insecurity
Insecure people base their self worth on what they percieve their partner to be thinking of them in each moment. This criteria for self worth is as solid as the thoughts that pass through our mind. It is subject to change in any moment and is a phenomenally insecure foundation for self esteem and emotional state to stand on.The insecure persons's feeling that they could topple at any moment is because their self image can be pushed over by something as small as a comment, changing a plan or the way you interact with someone else. Or even by their own assumption of what someone else is thinking. People who are insecure in relationships encourage this notion of giving"everything", which us usually under the guise of being "completely honest". People with relationship insecurities are not completely honest with themselves, so they cannot infact participate in the being completely honest. They cannot see their fears and insecurities as they are quickly projected onto a partner. This process usually resulst in manipulation and control with judgements and criticisms, that are usually pre-estabilsihed in questions and implied in conversation openers. People with relationship insecurities will look for information to establish that they have been mistreated, and this conspires to emotional abuse in a relationship where one party (the insecure party)assumes a strong yet covert victim role, and the other party is manipulated into believing they are a source of continuous pain and disappoinment. Resulting in unhealthy somatic symptoms which are cyclical, thereby self-feeding the victim mentality. The insecure person requires impeccability of words, actions, thoughts and perception of their partner, which is of course impossible. The insecure partner infact does not a have a pre-determined standard for perfection, as if this was to exist, then the potential for the partner to live up toexpectations exists, and if this was to occur the insecure partner would have to abandon the victim mentatlity. Put simply, the insecure person exhibits such pathology that the partner can rarely be right and their actions can always be interpreted as hurtful, deliberately decietful and against the best interests of the insecure party. Herein lies the irony.
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